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Her?
My confusion mostly faded when Niko opened the door and I spotted a familiar bright pink shawl in the hallway beyond.
Dolores bustled past Niko and peered around the space, blowing a strand of her faded hair away from her eyes. She had a large case dangling from each aged hand.
“Nice to see you again,” she said to me with a grin. “Wish it was under better circumstances. Not a bad place. Lots of pretty views.” Her gaze flicked admiringly to Niko, who chuckled in amusement.
Rafael eased himself upright carefully enough that I didn’t feel the need to jump in and admonish him. “Thank you for making the house call, Dolores. These guys need firearms of their own if they’re going to take care of themselves and our woman properly.”
Niko’s eyebrows shot up, and a flash of surprise crossed Jasper’s face. Only Quentin didn’t look particularly startled, though he sucked in his lower lip for a second with a hint of concern.
I spun to meet Rafael’s eyes. “Are you sure this is necessary? We’ve been trained to use guns. They—”
“I’ll train them,” Rafael said. “The basics, anyway. That’ll be enough. We’re up against experienced criminals, Lou. You can’t let them go into this without the right equipment.”
As Dolores laid out a selection of pistols on the coffee table, like the guns were pieces in a Tupperware party, I clamped my mouth shut. My gut stayed twisted.
I’d wanted to keep my skating life totally separate from my criminal past. But that past had become my present, and the guys had already been exposed to more violence than anyone should be. I couldn’t pretend I could keep them totally innocent in this situation.
But arming them and preparing them to potentially murder people in my defense felt like a big step farther than they’d already come. A step that made me queasy just thinking about it.
How far would I end up dragging them into the horrible parts of my existence before I finally broke free?
But if I’d been right before, then Rafael was right now. I didn’t know what threats we might face next. It wouldn’t be fair for me to expect the other guys to turn down any possible tool they could use to keep themselves safe just to absolve my conscience.
I’d have a hell of a weight on my conscience if any ofthemgot murdered when having a gun could have saved them.
Dolores stepped back so the men could gather around the table. Rafael studied the offerings and motioned to the other guys in turn.
“Niko, this Sig should suit you well. It’s light and easy to carry, good for those slim hands of yours. Nothing too complicated. See how it feels.”
Niko picked up the gun Rafael had indicated and eased his fingers around it. My stomach churned, watching him position it in his hand, the weapon looking completely incongruous with his cheerful demeanor.
“Most of my knowledge is from movies,” my coach admitted with a nervous laugh. “But I’ll do my best to learn. It doesn’t feelbad.”
I couldn’t keep silent any longer. “You don’t have to do this, you know. I mean, it’s true that having a gun might come in handy. But if you’re not comfortable carrying one, we’re not going to force you.”
Niko lifted his bright gaze to meet mine and offered his trademark sunny smile. “I can get used to it. If this is what it takes to keep all of us safe, especially you, then I’m in.”
If he could smile like that while holding the pistol, then maybe this wasn’t the end of the world. I dragged in a breath and nodded my acceptance.
Rafael had gestured to Jasper as he pointed out another of the guns. As he started to speak, I scanned the rest of the spread more closely.
“You might do best with this Smith & Wesson,” he said. “It’s a good beginner gun, not too heavy on the firepower.”
I made a soft noise to cut in. “I don’t know, Jasper has a pretty good grip. I should know from all those lifts. And didn’t you tell me that your dad’s taken you hunting before?”
Jasper paused, his shoulders stiffening. “I mean, he insisted. It’s not as if I liked it. And those were rifles. But I guess I do have some experience with things like how the kick feels.”
I nodded. “If we’re doing this, we shouldn’t skimp on power. I bet you could handle the Ruger.” I pointed out the one I meant.
Jasper grasped it and held it up to get a feel for it. “Okay, that’s a lot less cumbersome than a rifle. Just holding it, I think I’m okay with this one.”
We both glanced at Rafael, who admittedly had a hell of a lot more firearms knowledge than I did. My bodyguard raised an eyebrow at me, but he tipped his head approvingly toward Jasper. “I’ll never say a man should downplay what he can handle. I didn’t realize you weren’t a total newbie.”
Quentin stepped closer with an impatient air. “What about me? I don’t want anything wimpy.”
Rafael contemplated his shoulder. “You’re righthanded, aren’t you? So the injury shouldn’t mess with your aim.”
