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Rafael’s frown suggested that he’d noticed the evidence of her nerves too, although on the other hand most of the expressions I’d seen the guy make involved frowning. I suspected he’d rather have been standing at the top of the aisle, watching over the whole arena for threats, but with his leg still locked in a cast, he couldn’t have stood guard the usual way. He’d settled for taking a spot with us near the front of the stands.
Niko had vacated the spot at Lou’s other side to go chat with a couple other skaters he knew. I sidled closer and nudged her with my elbow. “You okay there, Upstart?”
Lou’s gaze twitched to me, the stiffness in her posture telling me the answer before she tried to cover it up. “Yeah, sure. You know, it’s just a little nerve-wracking heading onto the national stage for the first time.”
Her smile was unconvincingly tight, and her eyes darted away from me to flick over the stands in a wary circuit. My stomach sank.
She was worried about her mom—of course she was. It might actually be a surprise if that menacedidn’ttry to interfere with Lou’s big day somehow.
But she couldn’t keep worrying about that. The rest of us were here to protect her. All I wanted her to be thinking about was taking her audience’s breaths away.
I tucked my fingers around her arm and gave her a gentle tug. “You’ve still got some time. You know what always helps me shed the jitters? Getting moving rather than sitting like a statue. Let’s take a walk up and down the hall.”
Lou’s gaze turned skeptical, but she stood without argument. I led her up the stairs, carefully avoiding a news team who looked like they were searching for people to interview, and ushered her down one of the quieter halls outside.
Lou gave her limbs a little shake as if trying to propel the tension right off her, but she kept scanning her surroundings at the same time. Always on the alert.
“Hey,” I said, drawing her to a stop when I was sure we were out of anyone else’s hearing. “You’ve got this. You know that, right? I can’t wait to see you blow the rest of those idiots out of the water.”
Lou arched an eyebrow. “I think it’s a little early to assume we’ll be that far ahead. We’re up against the best of the best—and we only placed second at Finals.”
I waved her protest off. “I’ve watched all of them before. And I’ve spent the last two months watchingyouas up close and personal as it gets. If anything, I feel a little sorry for them. They don’t even know how badly they’re about to get massacred.”
That comment earned me a brief but genuine laugh. God, I could listen to that sound all day.
But then Lou’s expression softened in the way that stole my heart even more. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay—about not getting out there yourself?”
I shrugged, willing away the twinge of disappointment that was so small in comparison to all the things I was happy about today. “I’ve had a chance in the spotlight before, and I’ll get it plenty of times again. This weekend is about you. You kicking a whole lot of figure-skating butt.”
Lou lowered her eyelids to peer at me through her lashes. She touched the middle of my chest and walked her fingers slowly up to the collar of my fleece pullover, sending tingles racing through me with every brush of their tips.
“Who would have thought a few months ago that you’d be here with me at Nationals pumping up my spirits?” she said in a wry tone that was still sultry enough to make my cock rise to half-mast. “After all the insults you threw at me and Jasper—”
I held a playful finger to her lips, waggling it when she tried to give it a nip. “We don’t have to talk about the distant past. Anyway, I might have been an asshole, but you have to admit it was great motivation to get you and St. Pierre pushing yourselves to do better.”
Lou rolled her eyes. “Hmm. So suddenly your jerkishness is a heroic act. How convenient.”
She offset the sarcastic remark by stepping close enough to offer up a kiss—brief but so sweet it had me wanting to drag her into the nearest room and see just how many times I could get her off before she was due on the ice.
I reined in my hormones. I hadn’t brought her out here for a quickie.
I hooked one of her hands in mine and teased my thumb over the knuckles. The words stuck in my throat for a moment before I forced them out.
“It might not help all that much, but you know, I’ve been where you are, in a way. I know what it’s like to have a mom who can make your heart plummet and your gut bottom out with a single word, where you never know how or when the next hit will come.”
Lou’s fingers tightened around mine. She hadn’t been there when I’d opened up to Niko and Jasper, but I could recognize the dawning comprehension in her eyes. “I’m sorry. I’ve overheard you on the phone before—and I remember some of the news stories from a while back… I wish you hadn’t had to go through all that.”
“You shouldn’t be feeling bad for me,” I said firmly. “It isn’t anywhere near the level of shit that you’ve experienced. But being with you, seeing how you stand up to your mom every way you can despite how dangerous she is—it’s given me the strength to hold my ground with mine. I blocked her number the other day. Never have to hear her tearing me down again.”
The smile that curved Lou’s lips now was sadder than I liked. “That’s good. You deserve to live a life where you’re not being berated all the time.”
I nodded. “And so do you. So I want to see you block your mom right out of your head so she doesn’t get the chance to dim your shine out there, not by one tiny fraction. Do you think you can handle that?”
Lou inhaled deeply and drew her posture up straighter. Her eyes met mine with the determined glint I loved so much. “Yeah. We both got here by our own efforts, right? We’re standing on our own two feet, and no one’s going to hold us back.”
I found myself grinning. “That’s the spirit. Now let’s get back to the rink before Jasper has a nervous breakdown thinking I’ve kidnapped you.”
We made it back to the others just as the pair before Lou and Jasper took to the ice. Jasper caught Lou’s hand, and they moved to the spot by the boards that they’d enter the rink from when called. I sank down onto the bench next to Niko, who was perched on the edge of his seat as if his skaters had already set off.
