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I wishedI could have appreciated my introduction to Niko’s apartment more. The four of us tramped up the stairs next to a cute thrift store and stepped into a bachelor pad lit by the last rays of the sinking sun through its broad front windows.
I could tell that during the day, the whole place would be as bright as Niko’s attitude. His personal touch to the place was minimal, probably because he hadn’t been able to bring a whole lot of possessions over from Japan with him, and the space had a tidy feel. But his presence showed in the postcards pinned to the fridge with magnets and the collection of weights and other training equipment next to the futon.
It even smelled like him, warm and tart. I should have been loving this moment.
Instead, my stomach had twisted into one big knot.
Rafael glanced at me with a questioning expression. On the drive over, he’d asked me if I was sure I really wanted to do this.
“You know I have to,” I’d told him. “If I leave Niko and Jasper in the dark with the danger I’d be putting them in, I’d beworsethan Mom.”
Rafael had grimaced. “We don’t know how they’ll react. They could panic and do something… unwise.”
I’d rolled my eyes at him. “I don’t think they’re going to call the cops on me. And if it looks like they might, we’ll just have to disappear again.”
Better that than I got the two men I’d started falling for killed by dragging them into the line of fire unaware.
Niko smiled as he swept his arm toward the cozy space, but his expression was curious too. At the end of the dinner which I hadn’t been able to enjoy all that much either, I’d told him and Jasper that there was something important I needed to talk to them about and suggested we go back to one of their places.
I didn’t trust the bungalow, not really. Not when my stalker had already targeted it more than once.
Jasper wasn’t one to beat around the bush out of politeness. He turned to face me and folded his arms over his chest.
“So? What’s the big important news?”
“It’s not exactlynews…” My throat constricted.
I dragged in a breath and sank down on Niko’s couch. My heart hammered at my ribs.
I’d only just found real happiness here in Hobb Creek with these two men. Was I going to lose it already?
Would the admiration and affection I’d treasured in their eyes fade away into disgust and horror?
But I did have to tell them. Maybe I should never have hidden it this long to begin with.
I swallowed thickly and looked up at the three men. Rafael moved to stand by the arm of the futon beside me.
His brow furrowing, Jasper gripped the back of the boxy armchair. “Is everything okay?”
Niko settled onto the futon next to me and gave my knee a quick but reassuring squeeze. “Let’s give our angel a moment to work through her thoughts. If you need anything, just say so, Lou.”
He was being so sweet about it that I winced inwardly. I was even less of an angel than I’d ever claimed to be.
I set my hands on my lap, where they twisted together awkwardly. “The thing is, there’s something you should know before we decide about competing on a larger scale. I—I haven’t told you the whole truth about how I grew up.”
Niko frowned with obvious concern. “You mentioned that you had a hard life at home. We didn’t need the details.”
“You do, though. Because… thereasonit was a hard childhood is that my mother is the ruler of a major criminal organization. Like, think the mafia, but with even more influence and power.”
Jasper’s eyebrows shot up. “You ran away from themafia?”
I shook my head. “Not even the mafia. Listen. It’s—she’s—even worse. She commands legions of underlings and has control over business all around the world, and she’s not afraid to kill. And she expected me to become just like her.”
Silence fell over the room. It pressed down on me as if a sack had been pulled over my head, but I forced myself to push on. I had to get it all out.
“That wasn’t—that wasn’t what I wanted to be.WhoI wanted to be. I’ve always wanted to skate. I never lied about that. But she… I think she paid off my coach to tell me I wasn’t good enough, to make sure I never thought I should be competing or going anywhere with it. And then, when she thought I was old enough that I should be taking more responsibilities as her heir…”
A shiver ran through me with the memory of Balakin’s corpse, the blood-stained ice, the knowledge that he’d died because of me.
