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I dug into a mound of white rice and duck sauce, scooping faster than I could swallow. A veritable feast was laid out between Rafael and me on our little dining table in the bungalow, and all of it tasted like success.
“This was definitely the right choice for a celebratory dinner.” I dipped a wonton in soy sauce as it wobbled between my chopsticks. “God, I was starving. Today really took it out of me, I guess.”
Rafael only hummed in response, unusually subdued even for the deadpan bodyguard I was used to. I glanced up at him, taking in the distant cast to his eyes and the solemn shadow that’d come over his features.
He’d long since finished his helping of Mongolian beef. The container sat empty on the coffee table, judging me silently as I chowed down. He hadn’t touched anything from the myriad of soups and appetizers I’d ordered.
Now he leaned back in his chair, his mouth setting in an even sterner line than before.
Was he still worrying about our hijinks before the skating competition this afternoon?
I wagged my chopsticks at him. “I don’t think we need to worry about that pathetic excuse for a gang ever again. I mean, they wouldn’t have cleared out the rest of their stuff from the storage building if they weren’t taking off for whatever they figure greener pastures are, right?”
We’d stopped by the old hideout on our way back into town and found the building a burnt-out shell and the parking lot totally vacant other than one car Rafael’s fireworks must have done too much of a number on. There’d been no sign of the wannabe gangsters anywhere.
“They’re not going to come back,” Rafael said brusquely.
His confirmation reassured me but left me even more confused about his mood. I prodded a morsel of duck. “I’m glad that’s over with. Now we can live our lives in peace.”
All I got in response was a grunt. Where had this new stick up his ass come from? He’d seemed upbeat enough, as much as he ever got, right after I’d skated.
But he’d become increasingly quiet and solemn the whole drive home. I’d thought it was concern about our previous problems, but that clearly wasn’t the case.
My stomach ached with all the food I’d stuffed into it and a little apprehension as well.
I set down my chopsticks. “Well, if you’re not eating anything else, we’d better pack the rest up. I don’t want to gain twenty pounds right before the actual competition.”
Rafael got up with a scrape of his chair legs, his attention finally focusing on me. “You’re going to be fine tomorrow. Better than fine.”
“Oh, yeah?” I said with a teasing lilt as I started closing up cartons. “Then why are you going around like you expect the apocalypse to begin any moment now?”
The corner of his mouth twitched. He gathered up a couple of cartons in a stack in front of him and then simply gazed down at them as if he’d forgotten what he was supposed to do with them.
He lifted his head and met my eyes again. “I’m sorry, Lou.”
Say what now?
I cocked my head, trying to hide just how confused I was. “What’ve you got to be sorry for? I couldn’t have gotten through today without you—you had my back every step of the way. You know how much I appreciate that, don’t you?”
“It’s not… It’s not about that.” He grimaced as if he was grappling with his words.
My stomach started to sink.
Rafael was normally taciturn, sure, but he spoke his mind bluntly when he did have something to say. What was he so uncomfortable about telling me?
Was he thinking about leaving—going back to Austin to rejoin Mom’s operations? Maybe our battle with the small-time criminals here in Hobb Creek had left him missing the bigger thrills of his former career.
He squared his shoulders, and I braced myself for the pain I imagined was coming.
“As much as I said I wouldn’t, I’ve been treating you like a kid,” he said. “Like you’re a victim—or like you can’t make your own decisions. But today showed me just how wrong I was. I should have seen it so much sooner. I should have—”
He cut himself off with a growl, the sound containing so much frustrated emotion that my pulse kicked up a notch.
I shook my head. “It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize for that. Youhavebeen watching over me since I was a kid—it makes sense that it’d be hard to shift your frame of reference.”
“Maybe. But it shouldn’t have taken me so long. If it hadn’t…” He let out his breath in a rough sigh. “I’ve noticed the woman you were becoming inotherways for years. You’re strong and funny, talented and gorgeous—I can’t say there wasn’t a tiny part of me that was tempted even when you took your shot when you were sixteen.”
My mouth went dry, my heart thumping even faster. “You turned me down.”
