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I feel vile. Sick. As much as I hate myself for being tricked, I hate Edvard even more.
“Think of it this way,” he says. “If I hadn’t killed your father, it would have been some other sorry asshole.”
“Shut up!” I snap. “Don’t you dare talk about him that way. My father was a good man.”
“He could have been a saint and it wouldn’t have mattered.”
“All because he was an opportunity to you?”
“Precisely.”
“You’re a monster.”
“Was that meant to hurt my feelings?” he says with a smirk. “Any more stupid questions?”
God, I wish I could hit him. Just this once, I think I’m inclined to inflict a little bit of pain. There’s nothing left to be said here, no more need to wonder. It kills me to know that this all could have gone so differently. My father might still be alive had he never had the misfortune of meeting Edvard.
But it’s all done now. I have my answers. Now it’s time to finally move on.
Turning on my heels, I start to walk away.
“What about the radio?” Edvard calls after me.
I don’t answer as I push through the door. Dimitri answers on my behalf.
“Don’t worry, Mr. Levitsky. I’ll make sure the boys get that to you in…” He checks his wrist, glancing at a watch that isn’t actually there. “Any time now.”
“You son of a—”
Dimitri slams the door shut and follows me out, cutting off Edvard’s explosive tirade.
The elevator ride up is long and silent. No matter how hard my bottom lip trembles, I keep it together. I don’t want to cry here, I can’t. I refuse to let Edvard get to me one last time.
There’s a car waiting for us outside the building. The engine’s been running the whole time, an entire squad of guards keeping watch while we conducted our business. This place—The Pit—is isolated, but things have been tense lately. I feel like everyone’s waiting for the pin to drop, for something terrible to happen. Edvard’s had us living in fear for so long that staying on our toes is the only way we know how to exist.
While one of the guards opens the back door to the vehicle, Dimitri offers me his hand and helps me slide into the back seat and joins me. With a quick nod to the driver in the reflection of the rearview mirror, we set off.
I’m numb from head to toe. If it weren’t for Dimitri’s tight grip on my hand keeping me grounded, I would have lost it already. I’m trying so hard to put on a brave face, to keep from falling apart. But it’s futile. The harder I fight the tears welling in my eyes, the more my shoulders tremble and my chest burns. One sniffle breaks into a wrecked sob. Before I know it, I’m wailing into my palms.
Dimitri pulls me toward him, slinging an arm over my shoulder so he can hold me close. He presses light kisses to my hair, my cheeks, telling me it’s okay to cry.
“Let it all out, angel,” he whispers. “I’ve got you. It’s done.”
He strokes the pad of his thumb over my tear-streaked cheeks and lets me cry against his shoulder. I’ve spent so long focused on my misplaced revenge that I never truly allowed myself the time to grieve. It hits me in one massive tidal wave, so overwhelming and powerful it nearly drags me under and has me drowning on dry land.
Dimitri holds onto me throughout it all, patient and loving.
Yes, it’s cruel how my father was taken from me, but it’s also strange… I don’t think I would have ever met Dimitri if things hadn’t played out the way they did. It’s hard to be grateful for such a thin silver lining, but I am. I’m so glad to have Dimitri in my life, grateful for Simon. And now Dimitri and I are expecting our own child and it’s hard not to find joy in that.
If my father were here today, I bet he’d be proud. He would have loved the thought of becoming a grandfather. All I can do now is be the best mother I can be. As gargantuan a task it may be, I have a feeling I’ll pass with flying colors as long as Dimitri is by my side.
Eventually, I run out of steam. I’ve cried myself to the point of exhaustion, but it’s a good sort of weariness. It’s cathartic. Freeing.
Dimitri continues to murmur sweet nothings, offering a sweet smile. “My brave warrior. I love you so much.”
“I love you, too,” I mumble back, resting my cheek against his shoulder.
“Ready to go home?”
