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“Alina…”
“Did you not want me to know?”
“You want the truth?”
“Always!”
“Eileen is so far in my past she’s an afterthought. She came in a little while ago to ask for a job. That’s all. She’s married, too, by the way—though that doesn’t have anything to do with this. I haven’t seen the woman in twenty years. Whatever I once felt for her is long gone, Alina.”
“Then why did you still have her picture?”
“I forgot it was even there,” he confesses. “I’ve already thrown it away. She means nothing to me. You, on the other hand—”
“What about me?”
We stare at each other. His jaw ticks. It’s taking way too long to get an answer out of him. With every passing second, my stomach clenches tighter and tighter until I can’t breathe anymore.
I suck in a sharp breath. “Do you feel something for me, Pyotr?”
“I…” He casts his dark eyes to the floor.
“This is what I was afraid of.”
“What are you talking about?”
I swallow hard, trying to dislodge the sticky lump at the back of my throat. It doesn’t work. The words sit on the tip of my tongue, but I’m afraid of what’s going to come after. I just need to say it, blurt it out, like ripping off a Band Aid.
“I’m falling in love with you, Pytor,” I say on a breathy exhale. “I’m falling in love with you, and I’m afraid you don’t feel the same way. That you’llneverfeel the same way. That all I’ll ever be is a business arrangement.”
Tears well up in my eyes, the sting unbearable as my vision becomes blurry. I feel so stupid for telling him. Childish, even. Seriously, what’s gotten into me? To make matters even worse, Pyotr doesn’t say anything. He either doesn’t have an answer for me, or he doesn’twantto answer—and I don’t know which is worse.
Swiping my palms over my eyes to dry my tears, I shake my head and try to get a grip on my emotions.
“Forget I said anything. I’m going to bed.”
He frowns. “But the wedding…”
“You should still go. My stomach’s not feeling well. Besides, I’d rather not be around the happy couple. It’d just remind me of the fact that we’re not.”
Pain flashes across Pyotr’s features. “Alina…”
I scurry down the hall and go straight to my room, shutting the door harder than I mean to. The sound of it slamming rings loudly in my ear. I don’t think I’ve ever been more humiliated.
Crawling into bed seems like the only viable option I have left. Burying myself beneath my pillows and covers, I curl up and wrap my arms around my stomach. My belly really does feel awful. Queasy. Like I’ve been aboard a ship in the middle of a terrible storm, and I’m two seconds away from getting sick.
I’m pretty sure I hear Pyotr out in the hall, but his footfalls stop just shy of my door. He lingers out there, as if he’s unsure whether he wants to come in or leave me alone. A tiny voice in the back of my brain wants him to knock. To enter and check on me. To tell me I’m not alone and he feels the exact same way.
But then he leaves, his silhouette shrinking away from the gap beneath my door.
I’m not sure which has taken a bigger hit: my heart, or my ego.
Chapter 28
Pyotr
I’m falling in love with you, and I’m afraid you don’t feel the same way.
Alina’s words echo around inside my skull. No matter what I do, I can’t stop thinking about her tear-stricken face and the utter dismay in her eyes when I failed to respond. I didn’t mean to leave her hanging, but her outright confession surprised me.
