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“It’s not a lie, Popsicle. I’m yours.” Just not the way I wanted to be. I wanted to be that girl again. That naïve, silly girl who thought that anything we did was just between us. He never judged me. He embraced some of my scarier urges once he got past being worried about getting caught. He was right to worry. Truly, he was a lot smarter than I was. Back then, I ran purely on my insatiable desire for him.
When he leaned in to kiss me again, it was as if he were saying goodbye to me. Like he did before he left and then called to tell me we had to break up. His thrusts were slow at first, then more desperate as he tried to bury himself in me. It quickly became a desperate clash of bodies as I realized maybe he was about to do that again. Leave me. Let me go. Something. I didn’t know it was happening last time, so I didn’t have a last round of lovemaking before he was gone.
I gripped his shoulders, pulled him, let my nails bite as I said, “Don’t leave me.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” He breathed that into my ear. Followed it up with, “I’m just a sophomore. I have two more years. We have two more years, Harpy.”
Two years. Not the rest of our lives. He was leaving me in a different way. In this delusional way where he had found some loophole that allowed him to slum it for a couple more years. Fine. It gave me time to figure out how to really let him go. How to cut that part out of my heart, my life, for good.
He picked up the pace and said, “Mine.”
I nodded. Sure. I needed him to believe I was stupid enough to think that this would be enough for us. “I’m yours.” And because I knew it would solidify his resolve the next time he wanted me to sleep next to him, I said, “I love you.”
He pushed harder, hitting as deep as he could go, which was deeper than my body wanted to let him as he released and shocked me as he whispered in my ear, “I love you, too.”
I smiled a very genuine smile at that admission. Okay, I would get a lot more out of Tituss if I just reminded him of who we were and what we had. I stroked his hair, his back, and as he settled, I asked, “When is your next class?”
“Practice. I only had one class this morning. You?” He pushed like he was trying to just stay in there.
“No classes today, but I have a fairly demanding job this afternoon and evening.” I teased.
He snickered. “You got that right. I want my back rub after practice today.”
“You do?” I used to do that all the time for him. He nodded. “Okay.”
“Yeah?” he asked. “Not just because of the bunny…I know I could make you. I just…”
He didn’t want to make me. He could never have done the things he had done to me recently back then. Then, he was a sweetheart. I turned him into a monster. He learned to be one when he needed to be. “I want to. I came to that house because I wanted to see you. I just…I miss you too.”
“You’ll be my bunny.” He was settling to the side as he pulled me with him. “I’ll just keep you for myself.”
“That would be nice.” I stroked his hair. He was so fucking handsome. His lashes were always thicker and longer than mine. I wanted to touch them. Wanted to pull them out with tweezers. I forced a smile to my lips as I pressed them to his forehead and that evil urge to the back of my mind where I told it to have a seat. Get some patience. I had almost three years to play this game and win. Couldn’t do that if I kept…lashing out at them.
Them. I knew Dane was not going to let Tituss keep me to himself. If for no other reason than, like me, he got off on controlling someone. Unfortunately, Dane was getting off on controlling me. I…was not sure how I felt about that. Physically, it was a revolution inside of my body. My natural urge to rebel fighting with this pussy clenching desire to just fucking surrender. See what that would be like.
He was almost asleep when he said, “But I promised Dane I would share you with him. Only him, though.”
“But only when you want to, right?” I asked. I felt the movement of his forehead against my lips. I kept playing with his hair, stroking him.
“Or when I lose.” I didn’t get to ask what that meant because he was already drifting in and out of sleep for the conversation. The adjustment he made to situate my head against his chest let me know he was done talking.
Chapter Nine
Dane
Harpy was not at the game wearing her xIx t-shirt like the rest of the bunnies. It was a bad representation for Sophomore House, and since we had the most bunnies still working for us, it was just as bad of a call for her to be absent. I was pissed about it because Dougie was telling us how weak we were for that many bunnies to still be there and for that particular one to be absent.
I was furious for many reasons that had nothing to do with Harpy. Her absence just made my mood go from bad to worse. I stepped into the quiet house and found the object of my most recent disappointment on her hands and knees, cleaning up something in the kitchen. This made it only slightly less difficult for me to remain pissed at her. “Where they fuck have you been?”
Her whole body tensed and the people coming up the walk behind me stopped. I turned, and they turned and went the other direction. I looked around the place and realized it was empty. I knew they planned a party, and I was shocked there was no evidence of that in this open space on the first…floor…which is Harpy’s responsibility because she was the only first-floor bunny left. Oops.
She stood up, put the wipes she had in her hand in the trash, then went to the sink, where she washed her hands. She should be afraid of me, us, the whole fucking world for that matter, but Harpy seemed to not realize she was not the bully anymore. She was the one who would be told what to do, and we expected her to do it.
“Hi. I uh…” She looked at her watch and stepped out of the kitchen area to look at the people coming through the back door. Some of the rowdier guys and a few of the bunnies. “You bitches better be done with that laundry by morning, or that shit will be on the floor.”
It took me a minute to realize she was bossing them. Before I could say anything, Cassidy responded with, “We’ll take care of our chores. Took you long enough to finish yours, right?”
Well, that explained a few things.
