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“Trade me seats. He’s scared, and he doesn’t know you.” I indicated to Rip.
“I’m his mother.” She shouted. “He’s mine!”
“Doesn’t change the fact that he doesn’t know you, and he does me. Just sit up front so I can make this easier on the kid. You’re a good mother, right? Or are you like my mother, and you just want what you want no matter how bad it hurts him?” I had never appreciated going through that shit until right now when she looked at her crying and shaking son and shook her head. “They might come out of there any minute and spoiler alert, I pissed all three of them off.”
“I’m…You’re okay.” She tried to soothe him, and he looked at me and cried louder.
“For crying out loud!” Kipper turned and slapped at him. I was going to murder that motherfucker. He shouted at Rip, “Shut up!”
“See what you did?” I asked her. He would be licking the shit off my toes because that is how far my foot would be going up his stupid ass before this was over. Right now, I tapped into that freshman year high school drama club and said, “Just trade because if they step out that door, we are going nowhere fast.”
She got out, and I got in. I still had my phone, and as I settled in the back of Kipper’s car, I realized why it smelled so weird. He was high. I scooted over to Ripley Dane Manchester the Fourth and put his seatbelt on him. Yeah, these two were in line for parents of the fucking year. He had his hoodie on. The one we were twins at the game with.
Kipper peeled out, and I didn’t know where we were going. I just knew I had minimal time to call for help. I knew they might all be pissed at me, but in the three bears version of this story, I had Tituss, who would call the law and make everything worse. Dane, who would be so crazed with the situation, he would make things deadly at the very least. And Apollo, who specialized in true crime. I slid my phone into the pocket in Rip’s hoodie and sent that message.
Harpy to Apollo: Track this phone. Emergency.
I turned the volume off because I didn’t need them remembering I had it. I left it in Rip’s pocket and mouthed that he needed to keep it. He nodded. He really was such a smart kid.
Helen looked back at us, sniffed, and I realized she was probably also high. I hugged Rip to my side and said, “Everything is going to be okay, Rip. I promise.”
Helen smiled. She said, “You really are good help. I liked working for you, too. It took me a while to convince my cousin to let me come to college there, and I knew Kipper would be there, but to find out about this…my son.”
I held my hand over Rip’s ear and pressed his other to my side as I said, “Should never keep a child from his mother.”
“He’s my son, too. I know he is. My mom altered those results just like she altered everything else in our lives. He’s mine, Harpy. I’m taking him with us.” Kipper swerved, and I braced my hand on the seat. He was all over the road. We might not make it to the destination without plowing into something or someone.
“You have his medicine, right?” I asked and looked down at Rip, winked, and nodded. He coughed, sniffed. “You did get his medicine, right?”
Helen was high but trying. She said, “You didn’t tell me he needed medicine. Did you get it?”
Since the kid was in pajamas and a hoodie, I doubted he did little more than snatch him out of bed and grab the closest thing he thought might keep him warm or quiet. “What medicine? He’s fine. Mom never said—”
“Hoppy, my froat hurs.” Rip sniffed, blinked up at me, and in the darkness, I could see that same conspiratorial smile his dad would give when he was misbehaving. Maybe he’d become an actor when he got older.
“I know, sweetheart. Uncle Kipper is going to stop at…there. Just pull in there.” I pointed at a well-known supercenter and said, “We won’t look any stranger than anyone else in there.”
“You’re not going anywhere. Tell me what to get, and I will go get it.” He said as he pulled into the parking lot. Amateur. I could so kidnap this kid better than his uncle and his mother ever could.
“I don’t know. It’s children something, I’m sure. Rip, you think you could point it out if I help you find it?” I asked. He nodded, coughed several times, and put his head against my side again.
“I don’t feel good, Hoppy.” He was killing me. I knew that even at four, he understood we were in a bad situation. Part of that statement was a lie. He did not have a cold. Part of that was the truth because I didn’t feel good either. The scent of whatever they had been smoking was lingering, making me nauseated.
“I’m coming with you.” Kipper pulled into an empty area in the farthest part of the parking lot.
I wanted to hit him now for all new reasons. This was not my rescue outfit of choice. I just had to remember all the stuff I learned in those books. My goal here was simple. Save this kid. I kicked my heels off and said, “Fine.”
He told Helen, “Stay here. Keep the car running. Watch for us and be ready to drive.”
“Okay.” She nodded. “Wait, can I get something too? We need snacks if we’re going to make it to the boat tonight.”
Boat? Where the fuck were we getting a…well, they probably owned one. I unbuckled Rip’s seatbelt, and he got out on my side. I tried not to look too obvious as I straightened his hoodie and whispered, “It’s going to be okay.”
“Okay.” He reached for my hand, and we walked around the car.
“If you try anything, I’m going to kill you.” Kipper was so high I wasn’t sure if he could or if I could, in fact, thwart his efforts. He moved next to me, and I understood completely that he was stoned and crazy because he poked me in the ribs, and when I looked down, I knew exactly what he was poking at me with. “I mean it.”
“Is it a yacht or like a refugee boat?” I asked and nudged him with my elbow. “Put that away, Kipper. You can’t kidnap a willing participant.”
