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Holly
I knew this Saturday was orientation-slash-initiation day for the men on this campus who, apparently, wanted to clean our sorority and possibly have sex with us. Totally the reason I put my room on the list. Day one, I was on the pass this room right on up roster.
It's why when my door opened and the giant of a man walked into it, I blinked up at him. He seemed surprised and really happy to see me. I was overwhelmingly surprised to see that much chest. My God. He took up most of the doorway’s width and height. I had my headphones on, so I couldn't hear what he said as he looked around my very clean and private room. When he looked back at me, he started walking toward me. I had shifted to sit at the edge of the bed. I was going to stand up, but forgot my phone was next to me so as the cord to my noise cancelling headphones pulled, my head went back, and so did I.
As I reached for those, he...oh no. That was a shoulder against my knee.
I gulped. I...couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak. I...had never even kissed a guy and this one was pulling my shorts down.
Say something. Anything. Speak, Holly! Move! Do something!
Nothing. Why? How? What the hell was happening to me and—oh my God, what the hell was he doing?
I just held onto the headphones and felt my entire body quiver with fear and uncertainty as he shifted my legs and...damn her. My mother was sending the wrong message this morning. We went last weekend for a spa day and she told me to get the bikini wax, but told that torture artist to wax it all, and they did. It was the first time someone other than a doctor had ever touched me there and it was so bad I thought I would never let someone do that again.
His large finger stroked over the bare lips. I squeezed the headphones in my hands. My blood was pounding so hard in my ears, I could not hear the narrator of the audiobook anymore. I blinked at the ceiling above me. Inside my head, I was screaming. I was moving my head to say no. In reality, I couldn't even open my mouth, let go of my headphones, not a damn thing on my body worked for me.
His fingers parted that flesh gently, something cool and like a...barrier of...oh.
He was...licking me...there and...I didn't want to like this, but the only thing working at this moment was that juncture. I closed my eyes tightly and fought against the sensations starting to overwhelm me. I couldn't so much as think about sex without getting a bitter taste in my mouth or worse, nauseated. This situation was beyond those thoughts. When it came to those thoughts, I had already resolved I had no use for that part of me. I was not like the rest of the girls in this sorority house. My mom, my grandma, my great grandma, they were OBDs and represented all the Only Brave Diva's motto stood for. I was not brave or a diva, much to my mother's dismay. Sometimes I thought I could be, but anytime I had a thought or urge to, I got a terrible taste in my mouth, so I wouldn't do whatever it was I might have wanted to do.
That thought helped distract me as this man between my legs pushed a finger under that barrier and inside of me. I felt my vaginal walls clamp around it in a pulse. My legs were shaking uncontrollably at this point and as he pushed deeper, focused attention on my clit through that barrier, he...I don't know what he did to me. My toes started to tingle, go numb as a cool sensation shot up the arches of my feet then my legs and everything began to tense, tighten. My grip on the headphones was crushing. Again, I wanted to say no, shout it, scream it. Something. But my lower body was sending out slut signals as that single finger worked into me faster until I felt a cramp and then...oh fuck, then it was...wow.
It was...amazing and...I just had an orgasm. I totally understood what all the fuss was about now.
He removed that finger, the barrier. It could have been a minute before I opened my eyes. When I did, he was pulling the liner from the trashcan by my desk that had three things in it. I blinked, looked at him.
He seemed really confused and all I could understand from what he said was do better.
Then he took my trash and left.
In the aftermath of that, I just...closed my legs, curled up on the bed, and...cried as the sounds of the British narrator told me about a mystery set in London.
Storm
I went over to the clipboard and looked at it one more time. Room 405. I looked back at the door. 405. Okay. So, that's how this was going to be played. I went to the staging room and sat the trash bag down and grabbed my t-shirt.
"Hey, you done already?" Some guy I didn't know, asked.
"I'm part-time and assigned to one room. Yup." I held up the clear trash bag with the wrapper and latex, one empty soda can, one candy bar wrapper, and two balls of paper in it.
He shook his head and said, "Damn."
"I'm out. See you later." I was still hard, still wanting, but she only laid back and spread her legs. Didn't give any more direction, so I was struggling right now.
We had a whole handbook of shit we had to study. As one of the wide receivers, sometimes running back on this football team, I totally understood how to study. Had been studying playbooks, film, and textbooks for school since I could read. I transferred here because my other grandpa died, and this was closer to home. I had avoided schools within a day drive for one reason and one reason only. I needed to get away from here. Still, my dad traveled a lot, and my mom wanted me closer to home. They still paid the tuition, so...I did what they wanted me to per the usual. I had two years of life away from the one person I needed to stay away from.
The one person that I could no longer avoid but was using this little loophole as an opportunity to do just that. Set some boundaries. I was in the kitchen, putting that nothing trash in one of the large trash bags when Essie walked in. She leaned against the doorframe and asked, "Why are you wearing a shirt?"
"I'm done." I shrugged.
"Already?" She giggled. Then she gave me that look that messed me up sometimes. When we were younger, when our parents got together for holidays and other events, we were often left to our own devices. Essie was a curious girl and back then, I was a scrawny little thing with a mouth full of braces. I was an only child, and she was the youngest of four much older brothers. Her attention was everything and she gave me plenty of it.
Secrets. We had secrets. Secrets no one could know about because we were also cousins. She developed a lot faster than I did. I trusted her. I loved her. I would do anything she asked or told me to. No questions asked. Essie was my world back then.
It wasn't until I was a bit older that I realized I should not be kissing my cousin. I should not be letting her tell me what to do or how to do it. Once I did, and tried to talk to her about it, she made it impossible to escape her. She threatened to tell if I didn't do the things she wanted me to do. By then, we had already done so much, what was one more thing?
I clenched my jaw. I really hated her sometimes. She was mad at me right now because that contract with room 405 prevented her from asking things of me. I wondered if she sent me there because whoever was in it would make me want to quit. Quite the opposite. I liked a challenge and I...liked to please, especially in that arena. I tested my theory and said, "I'm not sure you got the right room."
