Page 54 of Holly

I handed Holly my keys and opened the driver side door for her. I left Essie standing at the passenger side door right behind the driver seat and moved around my vehicle to get into that passenger seat. She huffed and puffed as she settled into the back seat. I smiled because Holly was biting her lips in an effort not to laugh. I reached over and stroked Holly's hair. "We'll leave as soon as we've eaten."

"Okay." She nodded. Essie practically snorted a sound. I closed my eyes and let my head rest a moment.

The next thing I knew, we were parked, and I was coming out of a nap I had not intended to take. Holly said, "Hey." I blinked at her then looked out the window. We were at the Sophomore House parking lot. Before I could ask, she supplied, "You were knocked out, so I told your mom we would meet her for lunch tomorrow. I dropped Essie off there and brought you home. Can't carry you to your room."

I smiled and asked, "Would you?"

"Yes." She nodded. My heart did that extra-hard pulse it did sometimes around her. The beat that sometimes made me wonder if things had gone differently in the beginning, if I would be here, next to her, and she would still be smiling, but there wouldn't be a contract and a timeline on our smiles. I almost wanted to ask but thought better of it. She opened her door and said, "But I will come around and open the door for you, Big Guy."

That's what a lot of people called me, but not her. I let her open my door and asked, "So, Big Guy?"

She smiled up and said as she reached for my hand after I closed the door, "That's what all your friends call you, right?" I nodded. She gulped. "And…we're friends." Because I was a bit rested and the pain reliever had kicked in, I made a face that indicated I was thinking. Her gasp of offense and the following, "Stormy!" before she tried to stomp off had me laughing.

I reached for her and pulled her around to face me. I admitted that much. "Yeah, we are friends."

She really seemed happy then. So much so she hugged me, paying attention to that side I mentioned earlier. Then she said it and I felt it roll through my bones in a way that solidified the feeling. A quiet whisper that maybe I wasn't really meant to hear, but I did. "I love you."

Fuck. This…might change a few things. If it could be real…I shook my head and my thoughts. I kissed her forehead as she looked up at me. "Come on. Let's get some sleep."

Autumn

I knew she was in there with him. I knew that my time for making this decision was running out. Winston told me so. I tapped on the big guy's door and then just about jumped out of my skin when Holly whispered, "He's sleeping."

Hand to my chest, I looked at the woman smiling at me as I turned to face her. "I was trying to be quiet."

She whispered back, "Me, too."

Then she smiled and indicated with her head we should go back down the hall toward the open living room space. I followed her and we took a seat on the couch. Not close, but enough we could speak quietly and not let anyone else hear. She was waiting and I was, too. I broke and said, "I miss you."

She nodded and reached for my hand and said, "I miss you, too."

I looked toward the hall that led to Stormy's room. Then toward the one that led to Winston's. "What about them?"

"I love them." She was serious and my eyes went wide.

"What?" I didn't mean it to sound so appalled or shocked, but the contract was one thing, actual feelings…where the hell did that leave me?

"I don't think they love me." She rolled her shoulder and squeezed my hand. "I don't think you do either, but I love you, too, Autumn. This…whole…situation has made me realize that…I don't know. I just…shouldn't have to choose between the people in my life that I care about. I've had to do that my whole young-adult life. My mom or my dad. He never said it, but he had a way to ensure it and I was too weak to understand or do something about it. I won't keep being that girl. I care about all of you, and I know, on some level, you all care about me, but you might not feel the same as I do and that is okay."

"I don't know where I fit in this equation," I admitted. I gulped. "I…have strong feelings for you, but with them…things get a bit more…complicated."

She studied me a moment and her fingers squeezed mine. "You're not just into girls, are you?"

Was I sweating? Did I just start sweating because she asked that question? "I." What? How do I explain all of it? "I."

She shook her head. "No. You don't have to. Not right now. It…means more…complications? Right? But…we're here. The only thing we need to know right now is if you are willing to be in this little circle with me, them, or not."

I nodded. "Yeah. I want you."

"Okay, then." She smiled. "I'm going to go check on him. That hit last night—"

"No. I heard." I looked toward the hall leading to Stormy's room and said, "He is a giant, but…not invincible."

She stood and said, "Don't I know it."

With that settled, I went back to work, which meant I went to the guest room and crawled in bed for a nap. Winston was out doing whatever shady shit he did at this hour. Holly and Stormy were in his room. The rest of the house was still sleeping or gaming, or…well, the people in that room were fucking. Fortunately, I was one more floor up and several rooms away. I hadn't been sleeping. It wasn't a drawn-out conversation filled with drama and confusion.

Things for Holly seemed really simple. She wanted me, I wanted her, we had group consensus and a standing contract. It was all good for now. Well, until I told her who had brought those inner cravings back to life. I really hadn't done more than appreciate Stormy until he put me over his knee and pulled out that splinter. Since then. Things I thought I no longer felt for dudes…were…surfacing.

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