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Ever since the breakup back in high school, I have never loved anyone like I love these three men.Loved. Past tense. I can’t let myself even consider the fact that I could still love them. I’m scared of that thought. I’m scared to admit there could still be feelings there.
And I’m scared that the reason I feel that way is because of how my body responded during our tense conversation earlier. Along with the tension and anger I felt during that conversation, I also had an ache between my legs. It seemed to reach all the way into my core.
My body and brain seemed to be screaming at me, begging for me to just give myself to the triplets again. I’ve never had the same kind of sex with anyone else that I had with the triplets. No one has ever made me feel so desired, so sexy, so much like a queen as those guys did.
And it left me with an emptiness in every relationship I attempted. No one else has been able to measure up to the things I got used to with the triplets in high school. And I genuinely loved them. All three of them, and I loved them as they were. Assholes and all.
Now, however, I can’t get it out of my head that I want to have them again. No matter how much I hate them, which I genuinely do now, I still want to have them inside me at least one more time. I want to cum as hard as I used to when we were together. I want to have them all take me, bend me, and break me to be theirs all over again.
And what scares me most is the fact that this is only the first night. I haven’t even been around the three of them for eight hours yet, and I’m already fighting the urges my body is giving me to have sex. It had been a passing worry when I was contemplating the job, and it was one of the things Colleen mentioned to me when I was on the phone with her.
But I had been so confident that I wasn’t going to fall for the guys again, that my hatred for them and what they did to me is well beyond any attraction I could possibly feel for them and the attention I’d want from them.
And I’m already seeing that I was wrong.
If I’m this turned on right now, if I’m already fighting this hard to behave myself around them, I don’t know how I’m going to make it through two weeks, let alone two months, without anything happening. I don’t know how I can hate them so much but still crave them so strongly. I don’t know how both conflicting feelings can course through my veins at the same time, and how my emotions can still be so strong after so much time.
Maybe you don’t have to be so all or nothing with the guys. They haven’t made a move yet, but you know them. They’re the biggest womanizers on the planet. You know it’s not going to be very hard for you to seduce them again. Turn the tables on them.
They used you in high school, now you can use them. Make them pay you to watch this kid they had, and at the same time get all the benefits you once had when you were their girlfriend.
It’s a bad idea. I’m smart enough to see that. But this entire situation is a bad idea, so what’s a little more bad added in?
I might be setting myself up for heartbreak, or I might be setting myself up for the ability to get revenge. They broke my heart before, maybe now I can sleep with them and be the one who doesn’t fall in love.
So when they think it’s going to keep going after the tour, I can be the one with the power and walk away from them.
It will suck going back to the way things have been for the past ten years, but you might as well have your cake and eat it too while you’re doing this, then deal with it when it stops down the road.
You survived it once, you can do it again no problem, right?
I let the thoughts run through my mind, doing my best not to be biased one way or the other. I don’t want to have any need for the triplets, let alone these strong conflicting feelings that are making me worry I’m crazy.
The more the minutes drag by, the more my mind lingers on the bodies of the triplets. I think about not only their naked bodies as I knew them before, but also about how they’ve all filled out so nicely. I recall how I let my eyes wander over each of their bodies, taking in every inch of them I could see.
The clothes definitely made it difficult on some level to be able to check them out and see just how much their torsos have filled out, but I know their arms are an excellent indication of what lies under their t-shirts. Not to mention when Caleb got up to grab something, I didn’t stop myself from drinking in a view of his ass with it so close to me.
Everything about all three of them is sexier than I remember, and I don’t know if it’s the confidence I have now, or if I’m secretly that same girl I was before who yearns for their attention and approval, but I can’t stop thinking about how badly I want to explore each of them.
And I want to explore them with my tongue as well as my hands.
Of course, I don’t want it to be just a one-way street. I want them to take me. I want them to use me like they once did, so long ago now. I want their hands all over me, touching me in my most intimate places as their mouths are doing other things.
I want their dicks in my mouth again. I want to taste their cum as I swallow their loads. I still remember how it felt when one of them would cum inside my pussy, another would fill my mouth with his load, and the last would cum all over my tits.
I’ve never felt so desired as I did then, and I want to know what that feels like again. I want to remember the way I felt when they had eyes only for me, and what it would be like if I was the only one to have their attention now, even with all the fans who would kill to be able to spend even ten minutes with them.
As I dream about this in my mind, I slide my hand slowly down my stomach. I’m wearing a tank top, but I’m not going to grope my bare skin, even if I am under a blanket. I can’t risk one of the men looking back here to see me enjoying myself. I know that would just lead to them wanting me, and though I’m certain right now that wanting them is the greatest thing in my world, I have a feeling if one of them were to say such a thing to me now I would be quick to shut it down.
So, I remain as quiet as possible as I slide my hand under the waistband of my shorts, under the elastic of my panties, to the soft mound between my legs. I know it’s me, and I know what I’m doing to myself. But I’m disappointed that I’m the one who’s doing this to me now, rather than one of the triplets.
They all know how to surprise me with a sudden motion that sends shivers down my spine and makes my entire body respond. I don’t know how they do it, but it’s like they’re able to read me, like they know just how to please me every time, even if I’m sure I have things figured out to the point where I know them inside and out.
Still, knowing my own body better than anyone, I know how to turn myself on, and how to pleasure myself in ways that will most definitely satisfy me as I play with my own clit. I remember once again what it was like when I had the triplets, and when they would all take their pleasure from me.
There were times when it was all four of us at once. I would have one down my throat and one buried in my ass or my pussy. I would put on a show for one, or I would simply let them take turns with me as I enjoyed each one of them, loving them for who they are, loving them for how they’re the same, and celebrating each of them for how they’re different.
They might be identical triplets, but I never felt like I was having sex with the same man no matter what. I could have them one-on-one, or I could have all three, and there was always something different I loved about each of them. They all had their strengths, so they all satisfied me in their own way.
