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“Come on in!” Terry calls out when the girl knocks on the door. We’ve had to conduct these interviews in the side office of the stadium we performed at a couple nights ago. We slept on the bus, but we wanted to have somewhere a little more official to do the interviews, and in a pinch this was the best we could do.
Of course, we also booked a hotel room for the next couple days, since none of us want to sleep on the bus any more than we have to. I hope the room is as nice as it looks online. So far, this little room we’re using for the interviews isn’t what I envisioned when we came up with this idea.
It’s a lot smaller and doesn’t exactly make it seem like we know what we’re doing.
And I’m not impressed.
But, I’m not going to complain about it as we didn’t have another option, and the woman who comes in next doesn’t seem to mind.
“Oh my god!” Stella cries out when she walks in. “No way! Is this some joke? Is there a camera hidden somewhere?”
“Why would there be a camera?” I ask.
“What’s the joke?” Julian chimes in.
“No, no joke,” Terry says. “This here is our son, and we need a nanny who is able to care for him while we’re on the road. It would be great if you have, I don’t know, common sense. We really need to know for sure that he’s being cared for while we’re out on the road. We’re busy, you know?”
“Of course, of course,” she says. “Oh my god. And I get to hang out with you guys?”
“Mostly you’re going to be watching the baby,” I say. “That’s the whole point.”
“Are you sure this isn’t a joke?” She looks around the room. “I keep thinking that there’s going to be some camera crew that comes running out and tells me I’m on some prank show. This is good, I’ll admit, this is really good.”
“Not a prank,” I say.
“What’s your experience when it comes to childcare?” Julian asks, doing his best to keep the interview moving forward. I’ve already lost faith in this girl, and I just want to tell her to get out. She’s starstruck, and that ruins my impression of her, regardless of what it was when she walked in.
Not that it was that great.
“I like watchingTeen Mom,” she says. “So it’s pretty simple. And I guess this is going to be like that, right? With you guys being rockstars and now you have a baby and I’m going to be going with you on the road with your kid and everything, oh my god, I can’t believe that’s what this really is! Are you sure it’s not a joke?”
“Look, I think we’ve got all we need for this interview,” I say as I cut her off. I’m rubbing my eyes with my thumb and index finger, and both my brothers sense I’m about ready to blow. I can tell by the way Terry quickly interjects.
“We’ll be in touch if we need more from you,” he says.
“Oh my god, okay,” she replies. “I can’t wait to start. I can’t believe this is like a dream come true for me! I can’t believe this is happening. Pinch me already, am I dreaming?”
“We’ve got your number, we’ll be in touch,” Julian says as he gives the door a direct nod. “Thank you for your time.”
She’s still talking on her way out the door, and we exchange a look with each other.
“Did you hear that?” I demand as soon as she’s gone. “And you think we’re going to find someone to take care of him when this is what we have to deal with? I can’t see myself leaving him unsupervised with her for an hour, let alone letting her be the one to actually step in and be the nanny!”
“She got her experience from watchingTeen Mom?” Terry asks with a laugh. “Oh my god, I was about ready to ask her which season she’s on.”
“I was about ready to tell her to shut the fuck up and turn around,” I say. “I don’t know why you two think this is so funny. We are running out of time here, and we’ve got to find a solution to this before we do.”
“Relax,” Terry says. “It can’t be that hard. We’ve still got a few more girls to get through, and I’m sure one of them is going to at least be good enough that we can fill the position before the end of the day.”
“I don’t want to pick the least shitty candidate,” I say. “I want someone who’s able to take care of Hendrix without us having to babysit her in the process.”
“Look, I don’t think we’re going to really know how the girl will do until we get to know her,” Julian replies. “Like it or not, whoever we pick is going to be a stranger, and we just have to deal with it.”
“Who’s up next?” Terry asks.
I look at the clipboard. “Someone named Jeanette.”
“Bet she’s got experience. Anyone with that name is bound to know what they’re doing when it comes to babies. I’m telling you,” Julian jokes.
