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“It’s okay to ask your friends for help, whether it’s big or small.”
I blow out a breath and then decide,fuck it.“When I was very young, my mother made it clear to me that I was on my own for a lot of things. She was messed up, Apollo. She gave us some dude’s last name, but I would bet that he wasn’t really our father. In fact, I’d put money on the fact that all three of us siblings have adifferentfather. Not that it matters, really.
“When she finally just dropped us off at Grandma’s house and left, I was relieved but also guarded because, what if Grandma didn’t want us either? Mostly, though, I was relieved because my mom was pretty damn shitty. Have you ever wondered why I don’t like to cuddle? It’s because no one ever cuddled with me when I was a kid. Never. Grandma would give hugs, but she wasn’t a cuddler, either. So, it’s just not a thing for me.
“I know that Sarah had it far worse with abusive parents, and my mom just ignored us, but it still left a mark on me. She didn’t hit us or yell and scream. She just kind of forgot that we were there and needed her. So, yeah, having Grandma there to actually take care of us was awesome, but I never let myself get so used to it that I assumed we’d always have that. I love her with everything in me, and I know now that she’d do anything for us, but for a long time, I didn’t trust it.
“So, yeah, I just assume that I’m on my own with most things. Luna and Sarah are my best friends, and I know I can call on them for the little things like what outfit to wear or if I want company. But for the big things? It’s all me.”
He shoves his hands into his pockets and rocks back on his heels, watching me.
“Say something.”
“Do you know where your mom is now?”
“She died.” I shrug and go back to walking my imaginary tightrope. “Grandma told us it was cancer. Whether that’s true or not, I don’t know, but I did some research a couple of years ago, which confirmed she had actually passed away, just not how.”
“Why would Annabelle lie about how her daughter died?”
“Because she didn’t want to hurt us or to avoid rumors swirling around town from getting back to us. It doesn’t really matter how she died, anyway.”
“I need you to know something,” he says, his voice calm as can be. “I know that we agreed that what this is should stay between us for now, and I’ll stick to that until you tell me otherwise, but you need to believe that it’s not just you anymore, Juniper. I’m here, and I’m sticking. You actually have a whole community of people around you who care about you and would help you at the drop of a hat, no questions asked.”
“I know—”
“No, obviously, you don’t. Don’t insult the people who love you by shutting them out when you need them the most.”
“That’s not what I mean to do.”
“No, but that’s exactly what happens. I’ve watched you do it for years, but back then, it was none of my business. It’s my business now.”
“Why, because I’m sleeping with you?”
His eyes flash, and I immediately regret that snarky outburst.
“I’m sorry, that was uncalled for, even for me. I get what you’re trying to say. I do, and I appreciate it. I’m going to accept the help from Rob and the other guys, and that’s a big step for me, Apollo.”
“I know, and I’m proud of you for taking it.” He crosses to where I’m standing and takes my hand again. This time, he leans in and kisses my forehead. “I’m always here for you, June, no matter what.”
We’ll see.
What if I piss him off badly enough, and he simply leaves?
“Thanks.” I squeeze his hand. “Thanks for the pep talk.”
“Thanks for confiding in me about your mom. I didn’t know that story.”
“I made Sarah and Luna pinkie swear that they’d never tell anyone.” I shrug. “Cullen, Lauren, and I legally changed our last names to Snow right after Mom died because we wanted Grandma’s name. We’d been using it for years anyway. Grandma made sure our teachers used Snow for us in front of the other kids, and because she’s Annabelle Snow, and we live in such a tiny town, they complied. But we wanted it to be legally changed, so we did.”
“I’m sure that made Annabelle very happy.”
“We had a little party,” I say with a smile, remembering back to that day. “She got takeout from Gordy’s, and she put balloons and streamers in the house. We got to stay up as late as we wanted to watch movies together. She made it a lot of fun. She makes everything fun, and I love her a lot.”
“I know you do.” He drags his fingers down my cheek. “You have the biggest heart, June.”
I snort at that, but he doesn’t laugh with me.
“I don’t think anyone would describe me that way.”
