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“Thanks, but hysterics won’t change my reality,” she said bleakly. “I’m just sorry I upended your life. I never meant to.”
Her whole world was crashing around her, and she worried that she had inconveniencedhim? “None of this is your fault. You didn’t ask for Todd’s threats.”
“I knew he wasn’t an angel, but I had no idea he was capable of looking someone in the eye he shared blood with, whom he’d known all his life, and nearly slicing his head off. If he had caught me in the stairwell that night, he would have killed me.” Trembling fear filled her voice. “But I hate that I’ve made a mess of your job, your team rapport, your schedule…”
He reached across the cab and grabbed her hand. “I’m glad. When I saw you through the window that night, I was convinced I was hallucinating at first. I’d been thinking about you just before you appeared.”
“Really?”
Her blue eyes, shimmering with unshed tears, wrenched at him. “The day you got engaged, I resigned myself to the fact you’d moved on with someone bigger and better and forgotten about me. But I never forgot you.”
“I didn’t move on with someone bigger and better, just someone I thought actually wanted me.” Drops tumbled down her cheeks. She swiped them away impatiently.
Matt sat back, stunned. He’d spent three years regretting his decisions and assuming that she’d freaked out after he’d unraveled her at the bed-and-breakfast, so of course she kicked him to the curb. Smart women did that to domineering, sexually driven assholes. His mom and most of Dad’s subsequent girlfriends had proven that. Why would Madison be any different?
But maybe he’d read everything wrong.
“You married him just because you thought he wanted you?”And you assumed I didn’t?
She pulled free and dipped her head, as if the weight of her emotions had ground her down. “I’m sure that sounds pathetic. Looking back, it feels that way. I guess I just thought… Never mind.”
“No. Not never mind. You thought what?”
“Honestly, it’s not important anymore. We have to focus on now.”
Itwasimportant, but Madison was protecting herself. Matt didn’t blame her. He needed to do a better job taking care of her. He’d volunteered to shield her from the things in this world that could hurt her, but the first thing he’d done when he’d found her again was fuck her mercilessly and dismantle her protective walls separating them. And he wasn’t lying to himself. Despite his guilt, he’d enjoyed every raw, dirty second of it.
What would happen when he got her—a woman who wanted to be wanted—alone, in the middle of nowhere, for days on end?
“I’m sorry about what happened earlier,” he said finally. “I didn’t have any right to throw you on the bed and…”
Madison turned to him, wide-eyed and blinking. After he’d taken her harder and filthier than any woman in his life, how could she still look so innocent?
“You’re apologizing?” She gaped.
“Yeah. I didn’t wait for your consent. I made you do and say things that…” He swallowed. “I’m sorry. I promise I’ll be gentler and more considerate… If there’s even a next time. I’m not assuming anything.”
She wrapped her arms around herself again, inching closer to the passenger door, beyond his reach. “Okay. I heard you the first time.”
Then what was the problem? Matt was trying to be good to her, a better man than his father. “I meant that.”
Madison bit her lip, somehow looking even more spent. “I can tell. Could you just…not talk about it anymore?”
Damn it, was she that traumatized? He wanted her to know that she mattered and she wasn’t a fuck doll to him. Why should that upset her? Or did she think he’d apologized because he regretted having sex with her? Because he didn’t want her?
Fuck.
Nothing was clear. She was running on a handful of hours of sleep. He’d had even less. Neither of them was firing on all cylinders. Still, he needed to keep hearing her voice. After the long, panicked hours he’d scoured the city, imagining the worst, every word she gave him was a gift.
“How did you and Ethan wind up in that motel room?”
“After I ran out of Nash’s apartment, I went to the first bar near campus and found a drunk girl willing to let me use her phone. First, I called 911. But since I didn’t know anyone’s number, I looked up EM Security and figured I’d leave a message.”
With Nash out of commission, it had become Ethan’s responsibility to monitor the emergency communications over the holiday. “But he answered?”
“First ring. I recognized his name, and I explained who I was. He came.”
Thank fuck. “He picked you up and took you to the motel?”
