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WILLIAM: Why don’t we go somewhere nice?
ME: Lord Kinkirk, are you asking me out on a date?
WILLIAM: That depends if you’re going to say no.
ME: My answer depends on if you’re asking me out or not.
WILLIAM: Fuck.
ME: Ha.
WILLIAM: Yes, I’m asking you out on a date. Lunch or dinner, your choice.
ME: Can I be awkward and say neither, but food in the afternoon?
WILLIAM: Like a late lunch?
ME: I guess so. I’m studying until three.
WILLIAM: So an early dinner.
ME: I don’t know. Don’t confuse me. I feel like I need to work extra hard to send your grandpa a copy of my thesis since he insisted on giving me these books.
WILLIAM: Believe me, it was his pleasure. He spent all of Sunday evening waxing lyrical about you to your gran.
ME: I’m sure she took the credit for it all.
WILLIAM: Every bit, yes.
ME: That sounds like her.
WILLIAM: What about three-thirty at Oscar’s?
ME: The burger bar on Raymond Street?
WILLIAM: Yes. Or do you want somewhere closer?
ME: Make it four and you’ve got a deal.
WILLIAM: I think I can squeeze you in.
ME: Squeeze me in? What? Do you have a long line of dinner dates I’m disrupting?
WILLIAM: In your dreams, Cinderella. You’re the only one I’m wining and dining.
ME: I hope you’re not planning to get me drunk at four in the afternoon.
WILLIAM: Only if you ask nicely.
ME: Well, since I know you’re paying because you have a complex about that…
WILLIAM: Hey, I wouldn’t turn down a free burger.
ME: Fine, then I’ll pay.
WILLIAM: Absolutely not. You’re not paying for our first date.
ME: See? I’m never going to pay for food again, am I?
