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GRACE: So you’re saying it’s in two weeks.
ME: Technically the wedding is in three. I’m needed sooner, mostly to stop my family exploding. You wouldn’t have to be there that long, though, and I’ll cover your travel costs. I recommend flying.
GRACE: Jesus, where in Scotland is she getting married?
ME: Very north. I’d recommend Inverness airport.
GRACE: Crap on cracker, that’s gonna be cold.
ME: Yeah. If you can’t swing it, don’t worry.
GRACE: How much is this going to cost me? And do I need to pretend to be your girlfriend? Because I’m not a great actress.
Wow.
That was a lot of questions.
ME: Nothing. I’ll cover everything. And no? We can just be friends, as long as you humour my grandparents with their probing questions.
GRACE: I think I could manage that.
ME: Are you serious?
GRACE: Yeah. I like Scotland. A free week away doesn’t seem that bad to me.
ME: You don’t know me.
GRACE: And you don’t know me, yet you invited me anyway.
ME: I could be a serial killer.
GRACE: Yes, serial killers are known to hold doors open for the elderly and young alike. Not to mention the insistence upon replacing my coffee when it was half my fault.
ME: Good point. I suppose you do owe me.
GRACE: Don’t take the piss. I gave you my number and look where it’s gotten me.
ME: LOL
GRACE: You owe me now. I’m doing you a favour.
ME: I suppose you are. In return for a free holiday.
GRACE: Look at that. We’ll be even by the time we get home. Unless your family is batshit crazy, then you’ll still owe me.
Hmm.
That was a rough one.
ME: Nah, they’re not so bad.
I was absolutely going to owe her by the time this was done.
My family was bonkers.
GRACE: Send me the info and I’ll see when I can get away. Is a week long enough?
ME: Friday and Saturday would be long enough.
