AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I was right. My arse was going to kill if I sat here for any longer than a few minutes.
I’d wager I’d be more comfortable if I sat on a cactus, but I wasn’t sure I fancied testing it out.
Didn't seem worth the risk just in case the cactus was, in fact, more uncomfortable than this stool.
“There. Two pizzas in the oven.” William brushed his hands together and looked at me triumphantly.
“You look incredibly pleased with yourself,” I remarked, eyeing him speculatively while I cradled my wine glass with one hand. “Is that the first time you’ve ever put a frozen pizza in the oven?”
“Of course not. I was a student once. I lived off frozen pizzas, beer, and bread I may or may not have picked blue spots off.”
“Mould. You mean mould.”
“It sounds worse when you say it like that.”
My lips twitched. “I’m not sure there is a good way to say you ate partially mouldy bread.”
He reached for his wine glass, then paused. “I suppose you’re right,” he mused, slowly moving to pull a stool beneath him to sit down. “Tell me what happened today.”
“Which part? Where I was almost murdered by a parrot, contemplated throwing myself off a turret, or your grandma and dad arguing over the legality of keeping pet otters?”
William ran his tongue over his lips and nodded slowly. “Start at the beginning. And Chewy is a cockatiel, not a parrot.”
“Well, whatever he is, he’s a little bastard,” I replied. “He dive-bombed me on the stairs calling for the police. Then he spent the entire morning eyeing me up from that palatial cage of his until your sister flipped her shit and threw a blanket over him, only for him to make sirens for the next fifteen minutes until we moved.”
“I get the feeling that wasn’t even close to the worst part of your day.”
“Your sister is practically a terrorist,” I continued. “After we’d contacted all the vendorsforher because she was in such a tizz, we got to reviewing what had already been delivered to see if we would need to change any plans at all.”
“Do we?”
“I don’t think so, thankfully, not that it stopped her from freaking out over the napkins being the wrong shade of white.”
He frowned. “There are shades of white?”
“Far too many of them, really, and almost all indiscernible from the next,” I answered. “The napkins are one shade too bright.”
“One shade too bright,” he repeated quietly, scratching the side of his nose. “How on Earth does she know?”
“There were three of us and we couldn’t figure it out, so God knows.”
“Did you try asking Him?”
I balled up the receipt from the pizza bag and threw it at him. “Your grandma tried. We think He was hiding. Lucky Him.”
With a laugh, he put the receipt into the empty bag and smirked at me. “I did warn you what she was like.”
“No, you didn’t. You weren’tthatin-depth about it. How was I to know she’d cry over the little name tags you put on the table?”
“She cried over table name tags?”
“They’re too big, apparently.”
“Too big,” he echoed. “At least nobody will miss their name.”
“That’s what your dad said. She almost threw her tea at him.”
“I can imagine.”
