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“And you are okay with that?”
“To an extent.”
“What kind of extent?”
“It’s always good to have friends in your back pocket,” Connor says. “As much as you might not agree with it, that’s how my father has thrived in business.”
“And you see where that got him.”
“He didn’t know when to stop. He overstepped his bounds. He was never going to have a further reach than Viktor, but it didn’t keep him from trying. I’m convinced that’s why he started in on trafficking. You know I don’t agree with that, and I’m doing whatever I can to stop it, but if I stopped everything my father did, I wouldn’t have a business.”
“Maybe you should think about it.” The words are out of my mouth before I can even stop them, and Connor blinks at me.
“About what?” he asks, knowing full well what I’m saying.
“Getting out of the Mafia game. Isn’t that why you and the other kids are fighting back?”
“We are fighting back to change the game, to make it ours. Not get out of it.”
“I see,” I say and sit back slightly in my chair.
“I am who I am, Wryn. My father raised me, and whether I like it or not …” He pauses, searching my face. “Whetheryoulike it or not, that’s not going to change. I’m not him, and I don’t agree with everything he did. I hated him most of my life. But I won’t look a gift horse in the mouth. I won’t piss away everything. Maybe that makes me a bad man, but I never claimed to be a good one. I just don’t have completely black morals.”
I can appreciate his honesty and even understand it. Coming from the life I was living, I know now that it would be hard to give up the creature comforts I’ve been enjoying. Maybe I’m selfish. I don’t know. His words make sense, and I almost laugh at the irony of him saying he’s never claimed to be a good man when I was just thinking that I was married to a good person. His charity donations would beg to differ.
It seems Connor and I live in a morally gray area. Some good, some bad. Which side of the line do we fall on? Does the good make up for the bad? Will the scales balance out in the end? Only time will tell.
I reach and grab his hand, squeezing it. I guess for the time we have now, I’m in this with him. Gray areas and all.
* * *
Connor leans downto kiss me, and he lingers. I strain my neck up, hoping to hold us there as long as possible, but then he pushes himself up, pulling his face from my range as wetness glistens on his lips.
“I’ll see you in a little bit,” he says, stepping back to close the door, but I put my hand out.
“Let me come with you,” I say.
I know this is dangerous, and my heart is pounding in my chest as I think about all the possible outcomes of the night. I’m hoping that it’s over before it even starts. Maybe he will have a change of heart and not even go to the club.
A girl can dream.
“No, Jimmy has strict instructions to get you home,” he says, his face darkening.
My heart drops. I broke the spell. The one between us tonight, allowing us to live in a different world even if only for a few moments.
I nod, sitting back, and I make sure my dress is inside before Connor closes the door.
“Bye,” I manage to say before it shuts all the way, but I don’t know if he heard me.
He doesn’t say anything, and I watch him turn, walking away, his back ramrod straight in his black tux. He looks like a beautiful dream come to life.
I can only pray he returns home in the same shape.
I hear the door open in the front, the car rocking as Jimmy settles himself in the driver’s seat, and then it shuts. I’m alone in a limo. It’s a strange sensation, after being in it with Connor. I was so enamored with it at first, realizing I’d never been in a limo before.
“Where have you been hiding a limo?”I asked Connor, laughing, and I watched the corners of his eyes crinkle as he laughed back.
“I don’t own this. It’s a rental for the night,” he said.
