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Giving it another stir, I said,“If you’re so busy, what are you doing here?”
“Ouch,you’re breaking my heart, brother.”
I winced.“Sorry… there’s just a lot going on right now.”
He faced me, leaning a hip against the metal lip.“I’ll come by this weekend and give you a hand.”
“You don’t need to do that.” He already ran his own successful business, I didn’t want him taking on my burdens too.“I have Ewan in tomorrow, it should help ease the load a little.” The young lad helped out a few mornings a week, a little slow and far too chatty for my taste, but he meant well.
Callum clapped a hand on my shoulder.“I’ve got to stay in shape somehow if I have any chance of keeping up with you.” I knew my brother was teasing. He was the only person who would dare tease me about my size these days. Almost a full head shorter than me, he was bulky but not as broad. He had that athletic build that women loved. Whereas I—I was so large I intimidated people. I felt the way women looked at me, occasionally admiringly, more often warily. It made me wish I could shrink inside myself.
Pulling a sandwich from his pocket, he perched on the edge of the vat and took a huge bite, observing me as he chewed.“Before I forget, Mum wants you at Saturday dinner this week.”
There it is.
The corner of my mouth curled, pulling tight across the scar down the centre of my lip—the one left behind from multiple surgeries to repair the cleft palate I was born with. What many didn’t know about a cleft palate was that often, there was more to it than the change to physical features. There were varying degrees of a cleft. Mine was severe, meaning the soft tissue in my mouth and throat didn’t fuse in the womb, leading to issues feeding, swallowing, and later on, talking. Several surgeries and years of speech therapy later, only the small scar remained. But a childhood in and out of hospital could leave other scars too, ones not so easily seen and understood.
Instinct had me twisting away from him.“I don’t know if I can make it. I have too much—”
“It’s lucky I’ll be here to help out then,” he said, effectively cutting me off.“So I’ll tell her yes? Excellent.” He clapped me on the back before I could utter another word of refusal.
Dammit.This was why my mother always sent Callum, he was impossible to refuse. He’d been the troublemaker growing up, a people person through and through, while I was content to stay in my room watching films or playing video games. Heather was slightly more reserved, like me, but still had a good group of friends to get her out of the house. Alastair—my only sibling who lived on the mainland—had been Callum’s shadow, the two so alike and only a year apart in age, they were often mistaken for twins.
I loved my family, even if my dad and I rarely saw eye to eye on anything. I hated being in any sit-down dinner environment. It made me antsy. Made my skin itch. Ineededto be on the move, hands hankering for a task to keep my mind steady. I also detested small talk, especially when the questions always turned to me.
“Are you seeing anyone?” Mum always asked, hope shining in her grey-blue eyes.
“How’s work?” Dad would typically counter, searching for any reason to be proud of me. As a retired general practitioner and army sergeant, Jim Macabe expected big things from his children. Callum was a vet; not a doctor but close enough. Alastair had followed in the family line, working as a GP in Glasgow. Heather, a mother to twins, also got his old-fashioned seal of approval. And I… well, I let my eyes wander around the malting room. I worked at a run-down whisky distillery that I would never own, making less and less profit each year.
The differences were staggering.
Searching for any opportunity to change the subject, I asked Callum about his date from last weekend. He’d driven all the way to Inverness to meet the lass—a little extreme maybe, but the dating pool could be limited on an island with more livestock than people. He grinned boyishly around his sandwich.“I got home early Monday morning, we’ll leave it at that.”
A pang of envy shot through me like a bullet and for some bloody bizarre reason, April Murphy breathless and panting on the sofa came to mind again. I pushed the memory away at once. A person’s mind went to strange places when they hadn’t had sex in five years. Or was it six? Who was even counting at this point?
“So you’re seeing her again?” I continued, voice harsher than it should have been.
He scoffed around his food.“Absolutely not. We had fun, not enough for another six-hour round trip, mind you.”
“God forbid.” I chuckled.“I suppose it’s a good thing Jess has a better offer for you. Though I can’t be certain if the offer was for her granddaughter or herself.”
“Jessica Brown might be the singular woman on this island I’d consider settling down with.”
April’s face flashed behind my lids again, this time laughing, letting Boy burrow into her hand. This was becoming a problem.Even more reason to avoid her.
Like any good meddlesome family, as soon as my brotherleft,my sister appeared. Blonde hair swaying around her chin as she hopped down from her Land Rover.What did a guy have to do to sulk in peace?I could already feel a headache coming on.
Boy’s tail wagged ferociously, pulling himself up onto his hind legs before she was even fully inside, as if he hadn’t just spent fifteen minutes under my brother’s attention.“How’s my favourite nephew?” she cooed, squishing his cheeks together.“And my favourite brother, of course.”
Yeah, she definitely wanted something.“Two Macabe siblings in one day, I’m starting to feel extra special. What’s up?” I grunted.
Her small nose wrinkled.“I can’t just drop by to see my brother?”
The guilt was instantaneous.“Of course you can, I'm sorry. I have a lot going on and Callum just dropped by to guilt-trip me into family dinner.”
“Ahh,good old family guilt. If it helps, Emily is going through this phase of putting peas up her nose, maybe that will take the heat off you. Or I could dye my hair blue and remind Dad that I’m the screwup of the family.”
I glowered.“You are not a screwup. And you know they love being grandparents.” What I didn’t say was our father would never be disappointed with Heather because he didn’t expect as much from a daughter as he did a son. Sexist as hell, but that was just the way it was. Raising two beautiful girls while working two jobs, my sister was a fucking superhero.“And no rescue necessary. I am curious about the nose thing, though. Is it one pea per nostril, or as many as she can fit?”
