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Princess: I said it was creepy.
Mal: If you found that creepy, I don’t think you can handleTexas Chainsaw Massacre.
Princess: MAL!!!
Princess: It’s just a movie, I’ll be fine.
16
APRIL
Cherry Wine – Hozier
I’d made a big mistake.
Huge. Bloody. Mistake.
The chainsaw whirred again. I jumped, smothering a throw cushion over my eyes, as poor Pam’s on-screen cries seeped into the dark room.People actually watch this for fun?I tried to block it out, to slow my breathing until the scene was over. Pam screamed again and I’d officially had it. Every ounce of feminism fled my body as I dived across the bed and grabbed my phone to call for male reinforcement.
April: Mal!!
My hands shook.
April: Mal, help me.
April: SOS!!!
Mere seconds passed before the phone rang in my hand.
“Are you okay?” He sounded breathless.
“No.” My voice was an embarrassing squeak.“I need you.”
“I’m on my way, princess. What happened?”
“The movie! It was a mistake, you were right.”
“The movie—” He broke off and then his voice became clearer.“JesusApril, I thought you were hurt! Turn the movie off.”
“I can’t!” I cried, fully aware I sounded like a baby but too scared to care. I made the mistake of looking at the screen again and Pam, poor, sweet naive Pam, was being impaled on a meat hook.
“Why not?”
“Because I need to see the end… Does it have a happy ending?”
“Of course it doesn’t! It’s about a psycho family of cannibals.”
“They’re cannibals?” My voice went impossibly higher.
“Turn it off!” The command was deafening. Dudley poked his little head up from the mound of blankets.
“I can’t. I’ll be terrified forever if I don’t see the ending.”
He sighed and it was a relief to hear it, Mal being frustrated with me felt normal.“Shit… fine. Don’t move. I’ll be there soon.”
“Thank you, Mal. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” The line went dead and I squeezed my eyes shut, prepared to wait.
I didn’t have to wait long. Not even a minute later I heard his tread on the stairs, the creaky third step that caught everyone out.
