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I must have mumbled something to my niece, I wasn’t sure, because she took off running and suddenly, my eyes transfixed on April. Pretty as a picture in my childhood home, a bouquet of white flowers clutched to her chest. She wore a short lemon-yellow summer dress that hugged her perfect curves, hair half tied back, her face clear of make up and glowing. Mum rushed over to greet her and I didn’t catch a word of the exchange. I knew the afternoon would become a blur from there.
Callum came in through the side door next, kissing every newcomer on the cheek. When he reached April, he squeezed her waist, lingering longer than strictly polite. I studied their entire exchange. We were sitting down at the table when my dad entered, but I hardly noticed because April sat directly across from me, leaving me hypnotised by the way her mouth closed around a floret of broccoli. The way her throat rippled when she sipped her lemonade. I was being too obvious, barely speaking a word to anyone. Barely removing my gaze from her.
It wasn’t until April looked right at me that it registered someone had said my name. My dad.“Are you deaf as well now, Malcolm?” April flinched, turning white as a sheet. She looked confused.
I cleared my throat and forced my eyes to the man at the head of the table. Not quite as big as his sons, though his presence still loomed largest in this house. Perhaps it was the old army sergeant in him.“No, Dad. Sorry, I didn’t hear you,” I said at the same time Callum spoke his name with warning.
“I said, have you got yourself a proper job yet?”
“Jim—” My mother’s tone was sad but didn’t do enough to intervene. My mind scrambled, chest growing tight, and beneath the table my fingers twisted together.
“Maybe if Kier gave you a day off now and again you could start exploring other options.” My father rattled on like she hadn’t spoken, never lifting his eyes from his plate. I sensed April tense as I did.“We’re always needing help at the surgery. It wouldn’t be a doctor’s salary, mind you, but it’s respectable work. I’ll put a word in for you at work on Monday.”
“Work?” Heather cut in, looking baffled as she poured herself another glass of lemonade.“You haven’t worked at the surgery for years now.”
“He means volunteering,” Mum cut in quickly, smiling brightly.“He helps at the drop-in centre once a month.”
“And Kier—” Callum flicked a look at April.“You know about Kier, Dad.”
Dad’s cutlery slammed against the plate. Everyone looked at him. Even the twins’hushed chatter came to a halt.“Don’t backchat me at my own table,boy.” Dad spoke to Callum in a tone I hadn’t heard him use for years. His eyes were glazed over, like he was looking right through him.
Callum muttered something beneath his breath and started to respond, but it was April’s sweet voice that sliced through the tension.“That’s such a lovely painting, Iris.” She nodded to the massive canvas hanging at my back.“Is it one of yours?”
My mother preened and before anyone could stop her, she said,“Yes, hen, it’s my vulva.”
April choked on her lemonade, eyes watering. Heather and Callum snickered and I almost dove across the table to give her the Heimlich.
“Sorry.” April giggled, wiping at her tears.“That’s not at all what I expected you to say.”
“What’s a bulva?” Emily piped up from the other end of the table. Callum snickered again.
“You know what a vulva is,” my mother began to explain. When my dad threw her a warning look, she simply waved him away.“The female body is a magical thing, it’s important we appreciate it.”
“Hear, hear,” Callum cheered, lifting his glass aloft.
“Iris,”Dad warned again. So different were my parents, I wondered for the millionth time how a free-loving hippy visiting Skye on an artist’s residency had settled down with a grumpy ex-soldier turned general practitioner.
My mum pointed over her shoulder.“That vagina brought four children into the world.”
“Very true.” April giggled again. It was so lovely, the rope around my chest loosened just a little. When I imagined her doing it just for me, it eased a little more.
My mum stirred her pasta.“April, you have a beautiful body. I’d love to paint you.”
It was my turn to choke. My knee smacked off the table hard enough to rattle every dish. April flushed prettily and actually looked as though she was considering it.Holy fuck.
“Can I think about it?” she finally settled on.
“Of course.” My mother scooped more pasta into her mouth as if she were arranging a dental cleaning. I was sweating. Heather cursed, attempting to dislodge peas from Emily’s nose. Callum hid his grin behind his glass and my dad… he didn’t even glance up from his plate.
18
APRIL
Love Like This – Kodaline
“Are you really going to let my mother paint you?”
I snorted, bringing the tart lemonade back to my lips.“Of course not.” I was all for women being open with their bodies—I myself had been naked before a camera more times than I could count—but there were some intimacies I couldn’t bring myself to share. I ran a finger around the sweating rim of my glass, catching the beads of condensation. Heather and I sat beneath an umbrella in her parents’back garden, scented lavender bushes at our back. I took a moment to enjoy the sound of bees buzzing between the stems amidst lengthy bursts of delighted squeals as the twins soaked each other with water guns.
