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“That’s good. I told him that he loves you too.” Once again, she leaves me stunned.
“You told Chester thathelovesme.”
“Exactly,” she confirms before raising her hand to call the waitress over.
“You think Chester loves me?” A cute girl with short curly hair and big glasses approaches our table. She fits in with the vibe of the little café. It’s filled with small wooden tables and mismatched chairs. Different plants hang from the ceiling, and coffee beans are shaped into artful decorations against the wall.
Moreen rambles off her order quickly, and I add mine as well. The waitress nods her head and says she’ll be back with our drinks soon.
With a deep sigh, Moreen drops her hands on the table and crosses them like she’s either going to dive into a very serious subject, or she’s going to give me an earful.
My eyes fall to the necklace around her neck. It’s a small sun in gold with a white stone in the middle. It makes me wonder what it means because she wears it every day, but it’s also the combination of her engagement and wedding rings that raise a million questions inside my head.
I want to know what happened between them to decide to get married and spend the rest of their lives in misery.
“The thing is, Evangeline, you picked the worst person to fall in love with. Chester has huge commitment issues. I mean, huge. Mummy and Daddy Boyd screwed up his idea of marriage and even relationships. I’ve known Chester for a long time now and he has blocked everything that sounded a bit too much like love.” My heart sinks to the bottom of my stomach. A wave of disappointment falls over me. Even though I know it could never be more, I still think about being with him, but if this is true, it’ll chase away all my dreams.
“But… the day you walked into his life was the day he started questioning a lot of his existing ideas. Chester is falling head over heels in love with you, but he’s not ready to accept it yet. He’ll get there eventually, but it will all be for nothing, won’t it?” The longer she talks, the more it dawns on me. I can fall in love with Chester as much as I want to, but it’s a road that’ll soon end.
I’m not wasting my time because I’ll be able to patch my heart back together after signing my name on the marriage certificate. But am I wasting Chester’s time by having him invest in something that will end? He’s falling in love, according to Moreen, and I don’t mind breaking my own heart, but am I okay with breaking Chester’s?
“Shit, I’m wasting his time.” Moreen blinks rapidly, and her hand touches her red lips.
“You’re not wasting his time, Evangeline. Chester knows it has an expiration date and you’ll be the one who kicked his heart back to life. See it as something great and powerful that will only help him search for happiness and love afterwards.”
“Afterwards?”
“After you.” My heart thuds dully in my chest, and I’m scared it’s going to stop eventually. A painful lump grows in my throat, and I sniff in deeply, trying not to dwell in this feeling of defeat.
It’s selfish to only want Chester for myself, but it’s also difficult to imagine him with someone else. It physically hurts as it pushes against my chest. I don’t want him with anyone else. My heart won’t be able to survive such a hit. I love him, but the idea of letting him go, so he can fall in love all over again with someone else, hurts. It destroys me, and I’m so tired all of a sudden.
I don’t want to yield to what Frederic decided. I want to stay with Chester forever, but I can’t.
I can’t.
Tears push behind my eyelids and the heavy weight of the near future bangs on my shoulders.
How naïve of me to think that Chester will not fall in love again just because I’ll be stuck in a loveless marriage for the rest of my life. It’ll collapse my fragile house of cards. But it would make me an ugly person if I kept him away from happiness.
Deep down, I feel horrible for not wanting him with anyone else but me.
I drag my eyes to the large clock that hangs on a brick wall; I don’t want to stay much longer. My mood took a dive, and a lunch date with Moreen doesn’t sound as appealing as it did in the beginning.
I need a good cry.
“You love Chester, right?” Moreens asks, twisting one of her rings on her finger.
“I do.”
“Then love him a bit harder and you won’t be able to let go. Ever.”
“I don’t want to let go,” I whisper, and my heart sinks even lower.
“Then don’t.” As if it’s that easy. As if I can just say no. Moreen ended up marrying Sebastian and I bet she didn’t want to either. She was once in the same position as I am now and even the headstrong Moreen Van Doren couldn’t find a way out.
The waitress comes over to bring our homemade ice teas. I sip from my drink, tasting the mint on my tongue straight away. The bell of the door rings, and Moreen waves the person over.
Topper walks in, dressed in white pants and a black oversized hoodie.
