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I wonder if that happens a lot to Noah, that the world sees one face and completely misses the other.
Maybe we’re both actually not seen…only in different ways.
He brushes a tendril of perfect golden hair out of his face, and I almost take back my thought.
Who could ever not notice him?
“You may now kiss the bride,” the judge proclaims, his words bringing my attention back to where it should be. For being practically a stranger, Noah seems to occupy my thoughts much more than I would like.
I need to get a handle on that.
My new stepbrother doesn’t deserve my attention unless he earns it.
And thus far, it doesn’t seem like he does.
Curt dips my mom in a dramatic, Hollywood style kiss, and when their lips finally detach, she has a dark, attractive flush to her cheeks. She looks happier than I’ve ever seen her. Truly, blissfully happy.
I smile when my mom peers over at Daisy and me, gratitude that we’re here to celebrate her big day plastered all over her face. But the instant she turns away and is once again distracted by her new husband, I slip outside the courthouse and don’t stop walking until I’m breathing in the sea-tinged air.
Change.
It’s here.
I’ve spent so much of my time avoiding it, and yet it’s come for me anyway. I’ll be starting a new school in just a few days, living on an island that is completely foreign to me, and spending my time in a house that doesn't feel like mine.
Will this new life, with all these chances, be exactly like my old one?
Will I be a perpetual wallflower once again?
Or maybe the better question is do I want to be anything other than that?
For a second, I have the alien urge to scream out my frustration and anxiety to the whole world. I want everyone to hear how conflicted and angry I am that I feel so powerless to all these new unexpected changes. The urge passes though, and I allow my despair to slip back into the cracks of my heart where I usually keep it locked up tight.
I hear the heavy double doors open behind me, and a second later, Daisy’s standing next to me.
“What are you doing out here? Brooding?” she asks lightly, playfully nudging her shoulder with mine, even though I can hear the concern in her voice.
I immediately feel the urge to deny I’m brooding, but I let it pass and actually tell the truth for once.
“Sometimes my head…it’s too much,” I whisper softly.
“I feel that, babe,” she responds, and my fierce, take the world by the balls sister actually sounds…sad.
I quickly glance at her but there’s no sign on her pretty features of the pain I just heard. She pretends not to see my bewildering stare, and lightly socks me in the arm instead.
“Let’s go back in there and meet up with the fam. Everything will be okay. You’ll see.”
I follow her inside, but all the while I can’t help but think that Daisy lied to me.
* * *
The newlyweds have planned a lunch after the ceremony, ironically at the same restaurant where our lives changed forever. I’m not sure I would have ever picked such a themed place for my wedding reception, but here we are.
The restaurant reserved the giant room in the back for the occasion, even though it’s only the five of us again. We settle in and take our respective seats around the table. The whole ambience is a little awkward since the only people talking are Mom and Curt…and that’s to each other.
Noah’s tie is hanging loosely around his neck, and the bored expression has returned as he continues to play Candy Crush on his phone. Daisy’s also tapping away on her phone, leaving me to stare at the ceiling, idly wondering who painted all the “As” up there, tangled amidst the fishing net decor.
“Why did you pick this place to have your reception, Mom?” I ask curiously, thinking that my shrimp salad hadn’t been anything to write home about the last time we were here.
