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“I love you, kiddo,” she whispers as I place a kiss on her cheek.
“I love you, too, Mom,” I reply, hating how my voice sounds strangled and hoarse.
She doesn’t need that shit from me.
If she can be strong, then so can I.
I plant a wide smile and stand up straight so she can see that I’m okay, even if inside, my heart is shattering, piece by piece.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” I say, squeezing her dainty small hand in mine.
“And I’ll see you in a bit. In my dreams,” she retorts with a tired smile.
I kiss her knuckles and her forehead before turning around and finding the male nurse standing at the door looking guilty as fuck at the pair of us.
“Sorry, son. I tried to leave you in there as long as I could.”
“I know,” I mumble, taking one more quick glance at my mom over my shoulder and seeing that she’s already nestled in her bed, eyes closed.
Lately, any time I come over, it takes more than its toll on her. She’s out like a light even before I’ve left the room. I wonder how hard it must be for her to keep herself awake when I’m here. Maybe I shouldn’t come over tomorrow and let her rest, but since I already promised I’d come, I can’t back out now. She always sees right through any excuses I make up anyway.
“You good, son?” the nurse asks as we step out of the room.
“What do you think?” I snap, shoving my hands in my jean’s pockets and walking as fast as I can out of there.
Even though this is technically a hospital, my mom is in a separate wing of care.
She’s stashed away on the hospice side of the building.
In other words, the only thing the doctors and nurses are doing now is keeping her as comfortable as possible and waiting for the day her body gives up on her.
Like my dad, they’ve lost hope, too.
At least he was able to do one thing right.
Back at the island, the care facility she had been in was goddamn awful. She was there for less than a month before she started fading away from us at rapid speed. The straw that broke the camel’s back was when dad found bed sores on her back. Dad did the only thing he could do in those circumstances. He punched the orderly that had the gall to saythese things happenand took her out of there that same day.
Unfortunately for us, the only proper facility we could take her to was on the mainland.
We knew this meant the price tag would be steep as fuck, but it also meant that seeing her every day would be challenging for us. Still, it was the only solution we could find. The hospice wing of Falmouth Hospital is reputable, clean, and the staff treats her well.
Well, maybe not all of them.
I’m hit with the memory of how my mom gave the side eye to that blonde nurse earlier today.
There was definitely hatred in my mom’s eyes.
Could that nurse be treating her badly?
Did she say something to offend her?
Mom has never been one to hate anyone.
She used to be a kindergarten teacher, for crying out loud. Mom doesn’t have a mean bone in her body, so if she was scowling at the woman, then she must have done something to piss her off.
I vow to keep my eye on the nurse and have a word with her in the morning. I have half a mind to turn around and have a talk with her now, but that would mean I’d miss the last ferry back to Thatcher’s Bay. If I did that, I would either need to sleep in the waiting room of the hospital or find a bench in some park to sleep on for the night. It’s not like I haven’t done it before, but with the rain coming down so violently as it is now, I would rather sleep in my own bed tonight and confront the nurse tomorrow.
When I step onto the ferry that will take me home, I don’t waste time and walk towards the empty upper deck, needing a few minutes to myself. Although the rain is heavier now, I prefer to stay up here and allow the rain to drench my face.
