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Sixteen years old
The day starts off just like any other, with the same stares, the same whispers following me everywhere I go.
Everything’s monotonously the same, even in its loathsomeness.
The only thing different is that I've purposely forgotten my textbook in English so that I've no choice but to run back to the classroom to grab it during my free period. It’s the only hail mary I could come up with to give myself a reprieve from my abhorrent high school life.
I open the door to slip in, breathing a sigh of relief when I don’t see anyone there, grateful to have at least thirty minutes of complete solitude where I don't feel like I’m being judged or ridiculed.
But as I head towards the back of the classroom to get my book, I hear it.
The heavy, familiar panting. One that has been haunting my dreams since the first time I heard it.
My own breath is coming out in gasps, and my cheeks flush as I turn towards the supply closet where the sound is coming from.
I should walk away. I really should.
But listening to Noah get off…makes it impossible.
I tiptoe towards the closet, my heartbeat thumping in my ears. Heat builds in my insides for reasons I don’t want to think about.
Whoever he’s with must have been in a hurry, because the door’s cracked, like they’d thrown it closed in desperation to get their clothes off and not checked to make sure it had actually latched. I know that Noah isn’t shy when it comes to flaunting his sexcapades, but not all girls are as adventurous. Curiosity gets the best of me as to who he’s with, making me slowly walk closer to the door just to have a better view of what's going on inside the closet. Not that my imagination hasn’t planted a pretty picture in my head already.
It doesn't take me too long to see who he’s chosen to drag into the only classroom I feel at home in.
Stacy Monroe.
Her face is flushed, and her hair is falling out of its usually perky raven ponytail. He has her bent in half over a lone desk in the closet, his hand on her throat as he slides forward. His teeth are gritted and there’s a fine sheen of perspiration on his forehead. But that’s not what has my heart in a twist. It's the fact that he looks almost bored. As if he’s just going through the motions. His body might be here in this dark room doing all the right things, but Noah is nowhere to be found.
Meanwhile, Stacy is making all sorts of noises fit for a porno audition.
I wonder who came on to who today. Last time I heard they were on the outs. Guess not so much now. Still I can’t help but wonder why her? Why Stacy? When there are a million girls available to him, why is she who he always ends up going back to.
I watch for a long moment, my insides writhing. Stacy’s hand sweeps out and knocks a stapler off the table and I jump, backing into the desk behind me, filling the room with a loud screech. They both freeze, and I panic, turning and sprinting towards the door. I don’t stop sprinting until I get to the bathroom, hearing the door open down the hall as I slip inside.
I don’t think he saw me…but what if he had?
What would he do to keep me quiet?
And then there’s the fact he's already labeled me as a stalker. If he saw me, actually pulling a Peeping Tom on him, it's sure as shit not going to help my defense.
I feel…hot…and bothered as I slip into a stall, my hands still trembling as I debate perhaps never leaving.
But when the bell rings a half hour later, like the studious person I am, I drag myself out of the stall and back into the real world. Thankfully Noah is nowhere to be seen when I come out to join the stragglers who haven’t made it to class yet.
It’s going to be fine, he didn't see you, I chant in my head.
The period passes uneventfully, but then it’s lunchtime. I've made a habit of bringing my lunch every day so I can disappear into the library in peace. But today of all days, we didn't have any food in the house to make lunch.
And I’m starving.
I think about just not eating, but then that makes me angry because the only reason I wouldn't be eating is because of Noah. And why should I let him keep me from that? I decide I'll slip into the cafeteria and grab some food. And then slip out.
Easy peasy.
I make it to the food line and pay for my food before I see Noah. Or rather…before he accosts me. I’ve just stepped out of the lunch line when he grabs me by the back of the hair and pushes me against the wall, uncaring who watches.
"Tell me, little stalker. Were you in the English room today?" he murmurs, his eyes locked with mine, one hand still tangled in my hair while the other one is lightly pressing against my neck.
