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“Just get in the car, baby, he repeated patiently, like he knew the words I didn’t. “When something feels this fucking good, you don’t fight it. You just follow it to the ends of the earth, no matter where it takes you.”
“I’m scared,” I admitted, and he nodded.
“I’ll show you how good it can be. Until you’re not scared anymore. Until trusting me is as easy as breathing.”
I got in the car, but I didn't tell him, with what I’d been through in my life…sometimes breathing was the hardest part.
CHAPTER 17
MONROE
The party was at one of the rookie’s places, a player named Angelo. It was apparently a rite of passage that the rookies got to have their homes trashed for the playoff party.
It was completely packed when the elevator door opened and we stepped into the apartment, the raucous sound of the party hitting me like a wall. My heart sank as I took in the wild scene around me, immediately feeling like a fish out of water in an unfamiliar world.
The air was thick with the smell of alcohol and sweat, the noise level so loud I’d have to shout to be heard. Everywhere I looked, people were drinking and dancing, lost in a frenzy of wild abandon that left me feeling more and more out of place with each passing moment. Everyone seemed like they’d stepped out of a magazine, beautiful and polished in ways I could only dream. Other than a few guys who were wearing jerseys, I was the only girl I could see with one on. All of the other girls were dolled up in dresses fit for a club. And here I was, with my crotch ripped out.
“I’m going to find the bathroom,” I told Lincoln, stopping suddenly in the front entry.
“I’ll come with you,” he said immediately, his hand warm on my lower back, but I shook my head. I could see a line of women down the hallway, obviously waiting their turn for the bathroom. I only needed a minute. Just to get myself ready for this night, without his overwhelming energy fogging my brain.
“I’ll be right in there. Don’t try to leave,” he warned, like he’d stop me if I tried.
“Alright,” I said with a laugh at his joke, even though there was no sign he was joking.
I got in line as he moved further into the apartment. A loud cheer went up as people noticed who had arrived. The other girls stared past me as they looked eagerly down the hallway.
“Daniels is here,” they whispered excitedly to each other, before then going into explicit detail of everything they wanted to do to his body. The fact that I was wearing a jersey with his name on it didn’t seem to garner any attention.
It sounded like some of them had already had the pleasure of a night with him.
“I’ll never have anything like it again,” a girl further up the line sighed. “I’m literally ruined, and now he wants nothing to do with me. I would literally do anything for a repeat. Anything,” she emphasized.
Another girl asked for details, and I tried to block my ears, because I didn’t want to imagine him doing anything with anyone else. Not when his mouth was still covered in me, and there was an ache between my legs that missed his tongue.
It was finally my turn, and I hurried into the bathroom, surprised at how clean it was despite the massive amounts of people using it for this party. The whole time I was in there, I tried to bolster my defenses. This was fine. Everything was fine. I could do this. This was the part of life that I’d missed out on. Actually having a social life.
I stepped out of the bathroom and headed down the hall. The throng of people had grown, and it seemed like an almost impossible task to make it to the back where I could see Lincoln and Ari talking. The music was so loud that I couldn't think, couldn't breathe, and I felt myself becoming more and more uncomfortable with each passing second.
I waded through the masses, a blur of faces and bodies surrounding me, the chaotic energy of the party all encompassing. A few people gave me appraising stares as I pushed past, like this was an exclusive club, and they knew I didn’t belong. For the most part, though, everyone was doing their own thing.
I finally made it through the last row of people separating me from where Lincoln was holding court, and I stopped and watched him for a moment.
He was surrounded.
By a crowd of worshippers. Beautiful, barely dressed girls whose obvious only goal was to bag him or Ari.
My chest hurt to watch them.
They practically clawed at him, grabbing onto his shirt, brushing a piece of hair out of his face if he turned his head at all. Their eyes were glued to his mouth, like they were tempted to lunge and steal a kiss.
It was almost as if he was unaware they existed, though. He was lost in a conversation with Ari, his gaze flicking to the entrance every couple of seconds like he was watching for me to appear. But they didn’t seem to care that he wasn’t giving them a speck of his attention. They were fine just to bask in his golden glow, desperately hoping he would turn their way.
Is this what it would be like if I gave in? Would I simply be another one of these worshippers, waiting for him to give me the time of day? Would I always hover right outside his orbit, the muted moon to his shining sun?
I stood there watching as the girls clamored for his attention, the ultimate prize. The heat of their envy seeped into my skin, and a jealous rage twisted inside me. The depth of what I was feeling surprised me. It was as if every fiber of my being was screaming at me to stake my claim on him, even if I was just the girl that happened to be caught in his orbit right now.
“Mama needs you to stay in this room, Monroe, okay? Don’t come out under any circumstance. Mama’s got to work,” she said sharply, glancing anxiously behind her to where the noises of people laughing and talking and making weird sounds were coming from.
