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“You’re not going to Wilmington with me, are you?”
He continues staring at me for what feels like years then finally shakes his head.
“I think it’s best that I don’t.” His answer comes out on the edge of a breath. The words are soft and simple, yet they feel harsh and sharp to me, like the blade of a knife.
“Why?”
“Come, let’s sit over here.” He slips his arm around me and guides me to the leather sofas by the window. On the little coffee table in front is a brown envelope with my name on it.
Once we sit side by side, I look from him to the envelope, not comprehending where this is going and what’s happening.
“What’s going on, Malik?”
He pulls in a deep breath and keeps his gaze fixed to mine. “I’ve made arrangements so that when you go to Wilmington, you’ll be going back to your home there, and that’s where you’ll stay.”
My chest tightens, holding on to the air in my lungs. I sensed his apprehension, but I never imagined this. “You’re sending me back?”
“Gwen, you don’t need to be here anymore. We only need to stay married for six months to fulfil our legal obligations, but that never meant we needed to live together. At first, I wanted you to stay with me for safety reasons, but now the threat is gone. Even if there are more threats, I can send my best men to stay with you.”
“Oh… I see.” Suddenly, my skin is on fire and my temper flares. God, I feel foolish for forgetting the fine print. “The legal obligations. I forgot that’s all I am to you.”
“You’re not.”
“Oh, really?” I don’t bother to try and hide my sarcasm. We’ve gone way past the time for tiptoeing around my feelings, and too much has happened.
“Gwen—”
“No. You played me right fromhello, Malik Volkova. And like an idiot, I fall for you every time. All you do is screw with my mind, and I’m sick of it.” I can’t help the anger lacing through my words any more than I can the stupid love I feel for him. “Why the hell would you do all you’ve done for me then let me go?”
His eyes fill with a mixture of regret and tenderness I’ve never seen before. “Because I love you.”
Like a bolt of lightning, those words pierce my frustration and replace it with shock. But not the usual kind of shock you experience when you see or hear something that surprises you. It’s the other kind. The kind that works its way into every single cell and organ of your body as it restructures the fabric of your reality.
I stare at him, understanding those three little words I feel like I’ve waited my entire life to hear from him, but yet I don’t understand because he wants to let me go.
“I love you, too.” My heart takes over to speak those words, but only for a moment. I need my brain now because I can’t imagine being without him. “If we love each other, shouldn’t I be coming back to you after my trip? Shouldn’t we be staying together?”
“No. Love isn’t enough.”
“How can you say that?”
He gives me a strong-willed stare. “Everything about me has been selfish. It’s monsters like me who your father tried to protect you from. I’m not exactly that different from Diego or Esperanza, who tried to use you for their gain.”
I understand what he’s saying, but our feelings must count for something. “But you were different.”
“Yes, I am, because I was the worst one of the bunch, and I won. I’m the one sitting here with the prize. I married you, and that gave me the cartel.” His voice hardens with bitterness. “I was the one who found Santiago's daughter, a woman who was never supposed to be found. Then I used you as a weapon in a fight where I was the fool.”
“You didn’t know.” My voice is weak because my brain knows I’m just making excuses for him that don’t actually excuse what he did.
“It doesn’t matter. I behaved the way I did because that’s who I am. That’s how I was raised. To be ruthless and merciless. To not think with my heart. And the biggest mistake I made through all this was thinking I was invincible. Me being me nearly cost you your life. We were lucky, by mere seconds. I’m a danger to you, Gwen, and that’s why you can’t stay with me.”
He keeps my gaze captive. I can't look away from his dark foreboding eyes.
I want to argue with him and tell him he's wrong. I want to tell him things changed along the way. Thatwechanged. I want to give him all the reasons we should stay together. But I can't.
I can't think of anything solid that would refute his arguments, because everything he’s saying is true.
It's all true. All of it
