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I head to Grams’ room, getting there at the same time her doctor, Dr. Perry, is stepping out.
Dr. Perry is also the lead doctor here. He’s in his late sixties and has been friends with my grandmother since before she got sick. I’ve been fortunate so far to have him look after her.
I know he’ll do all he can to make sure she’s well cared for. At the same time, it’s never a good sign when I see him like this.
Grams has been here for over a year, and every time I’ve run into Dr. Perry like this, it’s been bad news.
“Ah, Gwen, I’m glad I caught you,” he says, adjusting his glasses. “I was about to schedule a meeting with you.”
“Is Grams okay?” I can’t restrain the panic in my voice, and my heart trips over itself when concern fills his eyes.
“Do you have time for a quick chat?”
“Of course.”
“Let’s go over here.” He points to the seated area by the floor-to-ceiling glass window.
By the time we walk over there and sit, my hands are sweating and my heart is galloping in my chest at such a pace my entire body aches.
“What’s going on?” My voice is barely audible.
Dr. Perry pulls in a breath and leans forward. “She’s gotten worse again. This time, her memory retention has significantly deteriorated.”
“I was here only two weeks ago.” I don’t know why I say that. Grams wasn’t any better then. That was when she looked at me like she didn’t know me, and all she wanted to talk about was growing up on her parents’ farm in Tennessee. At least she remembered that.
“Unfortunately, this is how dementia works. No one can predict when the changes will occur. The best we can do is prepare for them. With that said,
I’m thinking of changing her care plan and medication. I just needed your authorization to do so because of the potential side effects.”
“Will it help her?”
“It will make her life more comfortable,” he explains with hesitation. “That is all we can do at this point. I wish I could tell you something more positive, like I can make her better, but I can’t.”
“I know, and I really appreciate that.”
“I’m glad. I also know you’re financing her treatment yourself, so I need to check that everything is okay for the budget.”
Money. It all comes back to that.
God.Everything is okay for the moment, but if I don’t get that loan, the money for Grams’ care is all I have. There’s no way I can touch that.
No way. Not even if Conrad threatens to sell me to the highest bidder or keep me for himself.
With the lavish way I grew up, with money from not just my mother and father, no one would believe I would be in this situation now.
“Yes, everything is okay.” I wish I sounded surer, but I’m as sure as I can be.
“Good. Well, I’ll let you see her and leave the paperwork at reception for you to look over and complete. If you agree to everything, I’ll start the new care plan tomorrow.”
“Okay, thank you.” I nod.
We stand, and he dips his head before leaving.
I turn and look at my grandmother’s room across from me, now worrying even more about what she’ll be like.
I guess I’d better go in and see. Standing here in fear isn’t going to help me one way or the other.
Shaky legs carry me forward, and I open the door to find Grams sitting in her wheelchair by the window.
