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I go into the elevator and head to the top floor where the main offices are.
When the doors open, I see Mara, Father’s secretary.
She’s a tall, thin woman with a blonde bob that has always been part of her style for as long as I can remember. So is the elegant black pants suit she’s wearing.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen her wearing anything that could be classed as casual.
Her face lights up when she spots me. Like many others, she’s worked for my family since I was born. She was one of the many members of staff my father brought over from Russia when we move to the States.
I called her earlier to let her know I’d be coming by today. The last time I saw her was at the funeral. Everyone was a mess that day. Most of us still haven’t recovered.
Mara rushes over to me to give me the kind of hug you’d expect from a mother. She has four sons who are older than me. All work here. She always saw me as one of her own and I liked that she never judged me, and still doesn’t appear to be.
“Dante, look at you,” she says in a heavily accented voice. She reaches up to cup my face the same way Aunt Jen did last week. “I swear you’ve gotten taller.”
I chuckle. “No, I assure you I haven’t.” Unless I’m a freak of nature who keeps growing in his thirties. At six foot six, I’m tall enough as it is.
“It’s good to see you. Come on. I’ve got everything set up for you.” She taps my shoulder and we proceed down the corridor. “I was so happy when Igor said you’d be checking in. Your visit is most welcomed.”
“Thank you. I guess it’s long overdue as well.”
“Don’t worry about that part. I know your father is smiling down on you just for coming by today.” She assures me and I hope he is.
“Then I hope to make him proud.” I dip my head.
She leans in closer. “He was already proud of youmoy syn.” Calling me her son is an honor I’ve always appreciated. “It’s not the same here without your father.”
“I can imagine.”
We look at each other and I take note of the wealth of sadness in her eyes.
“I keep remembering the day the accidental happened. The day before I tried to convince him to still fly out to Russia for your mother and sister’s birthdays, but he insisted on staying.”
“That was my fault.” My fault again. “He said he’d wait for me. He didn’t think it would be the same.”
Mara shakes her head. “My dear boy, that is not your fault. I understand the sentiment, but last year was the time he should have gone more than any other year. He was overworked and stressed out.”
Of course he was. Having your only son in prison for murder will do that to you. And, no he wouldn’t have gone to Russia without me during that. It was our special thing. Our way of remembering Mother and Ana.
“Anyway, let’s not talk about depressing things. Your father would hate that.” She smiles, but I can still see the grief in her eyes.
“He would.”
“He would also want you to work in here.” She points to my father’s office. “Igor kept everything the same way Seimone left it. He said it was for you to decide what you wanted to do with the space.”
I’m surprised to hear Igor wanted me to do that. I kind of thought he would have moved into my father’s office straightaway because it’s so much bigger than his. “Wow, I wasn’t expecting that at all.”
“Well, then it’s a nice surprise.”
We go into my father’s office and I’m hit with the nostalgia of him. Everything truly is the same as when even I was here.
The scent of furniture polish fills the air along with the ghost of his musky aftershave and his mahogany desk has all his stationary and files neatly arranged.
The computer sits in the center with a picture of our family next to his dome shaped paperweight.
The picture draws me in. I pick it up and look at the four of us. Father, Mother, my sister and me. I was about ten years old so my sister was four. We all look so happy. And alive.
How can it be that I’m the only one left?
