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“It could have been worse,” I whisper.
“Just because you are okay with this doesn’t mean I will ever be.”
“What happened in the club? Where did you disappear?”
She blushes. “The idiot thinks I am hot for him.”
I sigh. She’d rather be miserable than accept her life.
I squeeze her hand gently and we undress quickly, removing our makeup. I debate if I should tell her, but she’s my best friend.
When we’re both in bed, I say, “I need to tell you something.”My lower lip trembles, remembering that night. “My first time was awful.”
“Yes, it’s supposed to be.”
“I wasn’t talking about the pain.”
“Oh.” Her mouth parts and I continue,
“Kieran thought I had been with someone else.”
Chiara rolls her eyes. “How can men be so stupid?”
“He made me so mad that I said I had.”
It’s almost comical the way her eyes round into two incredulous orbits. “Why would you do that?”
I pick some invisible lint from the duvet. “I wanted to hate him, so I didn’t think...”
“Then how can you stand him now?” she whispers, confused.
With my heart full of wondrous things just thinking of him, I say, “I never believed we would get past that, but we did.”
“I wouldn’t have.”
“What I want to say is, don’t repeat my mistake. Cato will be your first.” I place my hand on hers.
“Never.”
“Stop lying to yourself.”
“You mean I should just give in and enjoy it?”
“Yes.”
Chiara crosses her arms over her chest, brows pinched together. “If he touches me, he better be prepared to live without his dick.”
“You can lie to yourself, but a part of you…”
“I’m tired,” she says and turns onto her side, her back to me. “I just want to be free, Aurora. I thought you wanted the same.”
A pang of guilt hits me, but I am happy with Kieran, happy with how things have turned out between us. I want him in my life, desperately.
“I will always be there for you,” I promise her.
“So, you’ll help me?”
“Yes.”
