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Has anyone ever told me that before? No, never, and emotion gathers in my eyes, and he kisses the tip of my nose.
“What’s wrong, firecracker?”
He places me down. I turn my back to him and cry in my hands. He wraps his arms around me from behind.
“No one has ever believed in me.”
“I do. But do you know what’s the most important thing? That you believe in yourself.”
How can he always say the right things that are a balm to my heart?
“Get changed. We’re going to celebrate.”
On the top floor of the tallest building in town, everyone in the restaurant must know I am a jewelry designer. He won’t stop talking about it to people who come to greet us. There are even women interested in my pieces after he shows them his bracelet. “But this is unique. There won’t be another piece like it,” he says, pointing to my earrings and necklace.
“Stop it.” I slap his chest playfully as couples around us smile at us.
We dance, even though the music is for ambience. I can’t hide or lie about the fact that I am happy, happy with him, happy with this life.Settled.
One second I am in heaven, the next my throat and chest constrict with the realization that I settled for this life—something I swore I’d never do—dragging me back to earth.
“Excuse me.” I slip from his embrace, and his eyebrows draw together.
In the bathroom, I stare at my face, shouting, “Fool!” I betrayed myself for what? For an illusion, for sex, for a monster?
I shiver and storm back toward our table. “I want to go home.”
His good mood evaporates. We’re so in sync it sickens me.
In the car, I feel his heated gaze on me, and when I storm into the penthouse, he grips my elbow. “What the fuck happened?”
I shove his hand away and scream, “I hate you.”
“Again? One of these fucking days, you have to decide.” He growls in my face and steps away, letting me stew in my self-hatred.
My hand trembles as I pick up the phone and call Aurora, downright sobbing.
“Hey, what happened?”
“I can’t, I can’t do this anymore. Please, help me.”
Her breath hitches, and she must tell Kieran she will be right back.
“I can talk now.”
“I cannot accept this life or him . . . I have no clue how you manage it.” If I don’t leave now, I know I’ll never be able to.
“I would tell you, if you’d listen.”
“Yes, please tell me.”
“Loving Kieran will always mean accepting him as he is. I prefer to be the woman who knows what her man does and is capable of. I love him, and he loves me, and with me, he is the man I love, cherish, admire. That part is only mine. That’s why.”
“I can’t . . .” I’ve never hated my father more than this moment. But I know, deep down, it’s because of him. Why can’t I move past that? This constant fight is exhausting, yet I am trapped in this hellish cycle incapable of escaping it. “I need to get away.”
“I would do anything for you. See you at the gala.”
She hangs up before I can tell her I am sorry for dragging her into my mess. But even if I want to be that tough woman who needs no one, the fact is, I need help.
