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I almost choke on the piece of meat in my mouth. Loyal, my ass. A traitor is more like it. An asshole is the best word to describe him. I take a sip of water and swallow, remembering the ride to the upscale mall he pulled into. And how he tried to blackmail me to make himself feel better.
The way his arms flexed. The random tattoos inked on his arms that I know have a meaning. I remember he told me when we were kids that everything meant something special. That everything you do should mean something. I didn’t understand what he meant at the time.
“Be careful with Ky,” Mr. Murray warns. “He has a temper, and as much as he is a good-looking young man, he is more of a heartbreaker. Sometimes, a troublemaker.”
I snort. “Don’t worry, Mr. Murray. I have no intention in getting involved with anyone while I’m here. I’m just passing through.”
He stiffens, and I notice Tyler places his fork down and raises an eyebrow. I guess he thought I would call him Dad or some shit. There is nothing he has done for me to earn the title. He is Tyler’s father…not mine.
Caroline looks nervously between us and clears her throat. “Well, I know it’s a little early, but your eighteenth birthday is coming up and I wanted to know what flavor cake you would like. I know this great place, but you have to place your cake order months in advance.”
I bite the corner of my lip trying to figure out how best to answer. How do you tell someone that not only have you never had meatloaf before, but you also never had cake before—much less your own birthday cake? The closest I had was a cupcake I stole from the package to give to Billy and Gene before they were legally adopted. They were six and seven years old with birthdays in the same month. The foster couple we were with at the time didn’t give a shit about our birthdays or Christmas. Those were the worst days for kids like us. It was a reminder that no one cared or was coming to help us.
I look around the table, Mr. Murray seems pissed that I won’t acknowledge him, and I could not care less. I glance at Tyler, and he slouches in his chair, probably waiting for me to say what my favorite flavor of cake is. My eyes land on Caroline as she smiles at me, waiting patiently.
“Um. I wouldn’t know.” I pour water in the glass cup in front of me and raise it, taking a sip and liking the way it cools my throat. I place the glass back on the table. “I’ve never had an actual cake before. I’ve also never had a birthday cake. The closest I ever had was a cupcake, and it was vanilla, I think. So I guess vanilla would be okay.” I shrug my shoulders. “You really don’t have to go to so much trouble. It’s really no big deal. It’s just another day.”
Her smile falls and she looks at Mr. Murray, and then at Tyler. Silence. No one says anything. I’ve made them feel bad, that much is obvious.
Caroline blinks rapidly and places her napkin on the table and gets up. I guess I fucked up and said something to upset her, which wasn’t my intent.
I get up from the table and begin to clear my dishes and head to the kitchen to wash my plate, my appetite all but gone. It’s the least I could for the nice meal and offer of a birthday cake from Caroline. I’m not used to eating so much at dinner anyway.
“That’s okay, Rubi. I’ll help clean up,” Tyler says.
I pause and look up to see Mr. Murray and notice he is also upset. I look over at Tyler, and he is just staring at his plate like it holds the answers to all the world’s questions.
I place my plate and glass back down on the table and decide to be nice and address her by her first name like she asked. It is my way to smooth things over. “Please tell Caroline I’m sorry.”
“Get some rest. I know I said that I would take you to get some things you needed at the store, but I promise to take you tomorrow.”
“Don’t trouble yourself, Mr. Murray. I have everything that I need.”
Much like the meatloaf and cake, you can’t miss all the things that you never had.
Ky
IT’S FRIDAY ANDI’m hitting the bag, getting my work out in at the boxing gym with the guys. After Rubi walked off in the parking lot and made the three-mile hike to Tyler’s house, I followed her to make sure she made it home safely. My pride wouldn’t allow me to make it known I was following her. I don’t follow girls. Ever. Until her.
I followed from a safe distance making sure she couldn’t tell I was following her. I know the Murray’s family routine, and the usual time Caroline makes dinner. So I waited until I knew she would be asleep, but the funny thing is, when I climbed the tree on the side of the house up to her room, I didn’t see her sleeping in the bed. I’m not sure if she snuck out, or if she slept somewhere else. I knew it was the room she was staying in because Tyler mentioned she was sleeping two doors down and was complaining he couldn’t have girls over because her room was too close.
Tyler comes up behind me and I lower my arms from hitting the bag. I wipe the sweat from my forehead, shaking my tense muscles. Rubi coming back into my life has stirred up so much shit. I had nightmare with her in it. It was someone trying to force themselves on her, and all I can remember was wailing on the fucker. Blow after blow felt like lifting heavy weights, but I could see the man’s face, I can hear her calling out for me, but I couldn’t see her.
I woke up in a cold sweat reaching out for her, but she wasn’t there. So I re-read the old letter wanting to rip it to shreds, but like always I couldn’t do it. Because I can’t let go as much as I want to but there is something about her that doesn’t let me.
“I need to talk to you.”
“What’s up?”
“It’s about, Rubi.”
At the mention of her name, my head snaps up. Did something happen? Did she do anything?
I play it cool like I could not care less about Rubi. “What about her?”
He looks down like he feels guilty about something. “I know I told you about her showing up and it messing things up, but I need you to leave her alone.”
“Wait. Is this about the other day? Did she say something?”
