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"It's okay, beautiful. Act like he isn't even here."
I pinch my brows, a little confused, but he is trying to make me feel comfortable. He is giving me what I wanted yesterday, not denying me.
"You don't need a man to leave marks that hurt, gorgeous. Unless you like it, Jess. Do you?" he asks, slowly lifting my sweater over my head.
"Do I what?" I ask, dropping my hands. He removes my bra with expert fingers, sliding the straps down my arms and flinging it across the room. My nipples are like twin peaks under his gaze, a chill awakening my skin for what is to come. What I need.
What I crave.
To be set on fire burning the poison.
Valen is so sweet and kind to me. His touch is soft, but there is something that only the man sitting in the chair in the corner of the room can give me. The spark I need to light my fire that leaves me in a mess of ashes.
But he isn't available. He belongs to another; as much as it hurts and pains me, I must accept it. I refuse to be the very thing I never wanted to be, a man's secret. A secret he hides because he is ashamed of being seen as something to be used, and I'm afraid that is the very thing I have become to him, to them.
"Do you like feeling pain on your skin? The marks it creates? Is that what you like?"
I shake my head slightly and answer, "No."
Valen lowers his head, and his lips brush over mine, whispering, "I wanted to make sure."
He presses his lips to mine, kissing me gently. My tongue peeks out and plays with the black metal piercing on his bottom lip. He groans and devours my lips in his, sucking on my tongue.
He lifts me, laying me on the soft bed with white sheets like a soft cloud. My head turns slightly, and my eyes meet pitch-black ones. Reid's chest rises and falls, and I sense he is battling something within him, but I brush it off and give my attention to the man showing me attention. The one that always asks if I'm okay and gifts me with his playful, gentle touches, making sure to wash away what I don't want.
"Valen," I breathe when the cold hair hits my thighs, and his hands spread my legs after removing my leggings and panties.
Valen hovers over me and I break eye contact with Reid for a split second. But then my eyes find Reid's again and he stills like a statue. He blinks hard, and he is not watching Valen between my legs. He is studying me.
"Condom," I blurt.
Valen nods and produces one from his back pocket. He tears the wrapper with his teeth, and he smiles. "If that is what you want."
Trust me. When you find out the reason, you will thank me. I'm thankful Michael always wears one, but Valen loves to go bare with me, and I don't know who he has been with. He is younger and has a beautiful heart underneath his craziness, but he is very sexually active. I’m sure he gets tested but still. It is better to be safe.
But if there is a guy a girl should choose to be with, it would be Valen, but I'm not a girl that comes from his circle. I'm the trash they allow to play with, like scrapbook paper. Something that they use to have fun and then discard, like the condom he has donned. Disposed of when done to avoid leaving a trace.
The tip of his cock is at my entrance, and my eyes find Reid's again. His eyes are still fixed on mine and not on what Valen is doing. I feel the tip brush against my slit, I arch my back, and my lips part, anticipating the feeling of being peeled apart. The sensation overpowers the last. The feel of something I want versus something I didn't ask for but had to accept.
Reid's nostrils flare, but his eyes harden as he watches my face, and I wonder what he sees through his eyes. Does he like to watch? Is he mad? Jealous?
But I know better because I'm just a good time to someone like Reid.
Valen groans, and I moan when he slides into me, but my eyes never leave Reid. Not when Valen kisses me while he fucks me. Not when I moan his name to never stop, or when I come on a scream or when my cheeks flush because I want it to be Reid.
When Valen pulls out of me and gives my pussy a soft kiss, I watch Reid quietly get up from the chair like a ghost in the room. He leans over the bed, grips me by the back of my neck, firmly locking me into place, and gets close. He licks my parted lips. He straightens, releasing me from his hold and walking out of the room. I'm stunned, aroused, and confused, staring at his back when he leaves without a backward glance. A tear escapes the corner of my eye.
For the first time, I feel it. The sting of a piece of my heart breaking for a man.
CHAPTER14
Jess
Valen dropped me off at the dorm and walked me to my room. He didn't say anything on the way. It was like nothing happened, and we didn't have sex with Reid in the room; what was weird was that Valen was okay with it. It didn't bother him that I was looking at another man while he fucked me. It seemed normal. He got me off, and he got what he wanted. But I still feel empty.
Valen gives me a peck on the lips and ensures I'm safely inside. For some reason, I feel like a cheap date.
If Zero is watching me right now, he hasn't made it known. I still walk back to my dorm room paranoid, but I’ve given up expecting to see him. I have accepted I'm damaged, and my bandage is the men I use for sex to cover the wound that I know will leave a scar or, worse, a gaping wound that never closes.
