AllFreeNovel
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It’s a relief when the bill is paid, and Dad heads off to meet his plane, leaving me to make my solitary journey across town to my boxed-up apartment.
Movers are coming tomorrow. My new job, teaching ceramics at an after-school program, is only a few miles from Penn’s studio in my hometown of Philadelphia.
It should mean I’ll see him more, but I won’t. Nothing will change.
He went from being one of the biggest, most important parts of my life to a man I see on TV, and a smaller geographical distance between us won’t make a difference.
I still can’t believe he really didn’t come.
It feels like I’ve been keeping the door to our relationship cracked open, just in case he comes through it again, and Penn just slammed it shut right in my face.
I stop at the convenience store down the street from my apartment and buy a bottle of wine. Drinking alone in a nearly empty apartment is pretty pathetic, but I can’t bring myself to care. The building is quiet, with most of the usual inhabitants gone for the summer, and I roam the halls with a glass of wine in my hand.
I’ve lived here three years and never just walked through the place. On the third floor, there’s a piece of duct tape running along the baseboard to secure an extension cord. In the lobby, the chrome trash can is beginning to rust at the bottom. In the elevator, one of the ceiling tiles is a slightly different color than the others, as though it was replaced at some point.
I take time to take in the everyday details I was once too busy to notice, drinking until the bottle of wine is empty and then shuffling back to my apartment to collapse on the single mattress left in the middle of the boxed-up living room.
The only light is from the streetlight shining through the window, and I fumble for my purse on the floor as the room spins around me.
I want to hear his voice, that’s all. I’m drunk, but I have it together. It’ll be fine. We’ll just catch up, and he won’t even realize that I just drank an entire bottle of wine by myself.
My finger hovers over the little phone button in Penn’s contact for a long moment, my heart in my throat, before I finally press it.
It rings once. Twice-“Daisy.”
My bottom lip trembles, and I bite back a sob, suddenly overcome by the sound of his voice. This isn’t something we do. We don’t talk on the phone, and It’s dizzying to realize I haven’t heard his voice for two years.
Two years.
“Penn.” My voice breaks, and tears slip down either side of my face into my hair.
There’s a ragged breath on the other end of the phone. “Is everything okay?”
He thinks something must be wrong, that I must be in trouble to be calling him like this. Is that what our relationship is now? Am I an obligation to him?
God, is that the only reason he picked up?
I sit up, pressing my eyes into my bent knees to try to stop the room from spinning, and spots of light burst beneath my eyelids. “Why didn’t you come?”
Penn makes a rough noise. “Dai-“
“No.” More tears escape, running freely down my cheeks. “I just… I know you’re fancy and famous now. I know you aren’t going to eat pizza with me on Fridays anymore or take me to the movies when I’m sad. I get it.” I hiccup. “But… I at least thought you cared and- and you’d be there for the big stuff.”
“Have you been drinking?” His voice isn’t accusing. He doesn’t sound judgmental, just sad.
I shake my head like he can see me. “I’d have to be drunk to get the courage to call you, huh?”
Penn’s voice is strained when he replies. “You can call me any time.Any time, Daisy. I’d drop anything for you. You should know that.”
Yeah, sure thing. The dozens of one-word responses I’ve gotten from my texts, unreturned calls, and the chair that’s stood empty for two years of family events tell a different story.
“One-eight-hundred-Penn, right?” I chirp in a falsely cheery voice. “They put it right at the bottom of all the commercials for your show. I bet-“ I hiccup again, “I bet if I wait fifteen minutes on hold, I can get a complimentary bookmark with your face on it.”
“Daisy,” Penn grinds out. He sounds so frustrated. I can picture him right at this moment, pacing back and forth, jaw clenched, brow furrowed, and maddeningly handsome. “Where are you? Are you safe?”
“Snug as a rug in a bug, or something like that.” I flop back down into my mattress with a sigh. “I’m moving back to Philly tomorrow. Are yousoexcitedto see me, Penn? You’ll be throwing my housewarming party, right?”
Penn hisses out a long breath. “Daisy, go get a glass of water. For Christ’s sake-“
