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Adriano looked hesitant. ‘Are you unhappy?’
‘Confused,’ Noah spelled, not remembering the sign for it. Adriano showed him, and he repeated it. ‘Not bad. Just need to talk.’
Adriano’s entire body relaxed just a fraction, and when he leaned in again, Noah didn’t reject the kiss. It was sweeter this time and soft. It was full of an emotion Noah was too afraid to name. It was over too fast, but Noah’s crotch was sticky and uncomfortably wet, so he was grateful for the reprieve.
He didn’t let himself think too much as he changed, didn’t sink into the anxiety of what-ifs, but it was a near thing. Instead, he focused on what was to come. Dinner with his lover and a little more tenderness.
And then…
And then, he would get ready to bare all.
* * *
Noah hadto wonder if it was some sort of gift that all Italian men had a genetic ability to cook, though he knew that was ridiculous. But one of his first friends in college had been a whiz with a hot plate and dry noodles and cans of cheap tomato sauce. He could whip up a Bolognese good enough to make Noah want to cry with a half bottle of two-dollar wine and a jar of dried oregano added in.
Adriano’s was better than that. It was dry pasta, but it tasted fresh. The sauce had a richness he couldn’t describe with words, but he was happy to eat until he almost felt sick. It was an overindulgence, but Adriano’s pleased grin as he watched Noah attack his plate was worth it.
When they were finished, Adriano took him by the hand, a loose grip of clasped fingers, and they made their way out back. There was an echo of the sunset’s glow just along the horizon but not enough to give any real light. The yard was lit up by a handful of solar lamps, but it felt soothing in a way to be surrounded by darkness and the sound of waves hitting the sand.
Adriano led him to a two-person swing, the cushions heavy and thick, and he tucked himself between Adriano’s spread legs, the pair of them stretched along the length of it as best as two fully grown men could be. Noah laid with his back to Adriano’s chest and let Adriano’s large hands curve over his.
“Happy?” Adriano asked aloud.
Noah nodded his fist against Adriano’s palm.
“Me too.” Lips pressed against his hair, nose digging into his curls. He felt more than heard Adriano take a deep breath in. “Can we talk out here?”
Noah took his hands away, then twisted around. ‘Too dark?’
Adriano pulled a face, but he knew Noah was right. Neither of them seemed to want to give up this little bit of sanctuary away from both the chaos of life and what they planned to do next in the bedroom, but Noah knew he couldn’t put it off for much longer.
He leaned in and stole a kiss before heaving himself up, and he heard Adriano’s heavy footsteps follow him in. They’d only taken a minute out there in the dark, but Noah’s eyes struggled to adjust. They watered a little as he took the corner seat on the sofa and turned as Adriano joined him.
‘If you changed your mind,’ Adriano started, but Noah shook his head.
‘It isn’t that. I…’ He hovered with his finger touching his chest, then stopped and dropped his hands for a second. ‘I don’t know what this is between us,’ he went on. ‘You like me.’
‘Yes,’ Adriano said, his fist’s nod perfunctory and sharp. He leaned in but not close enough to touch. ‘Yes,’ he signed again.
‘What happens when all this is over?’ Noah asked.
Adriano’s brow furrowed. ‘What?’
‘Your agent,’ Noah asked, his shaking fingers fumbling over the spelling of words he didn’t have the signs for. ‘Your job. You can’t live in Savannah.’
Adriano’s brow furrowed. ‘Why not?’
Noah couldn’t help his laugh. ‘It’s on the other side of the country. There’s nothing here for you.’
Adriano’s face was challenging now, eyes not letting him go. ‘You’re here. Your family is here.’
‘Your family is not,’ Noah reminded him.
Adriano scoffed. ‘I don’t see them that often. We’re not as close as we were before I started working in film. I don’t let them choose for me what makes me happy.’
Noah’s insides swooped like he was on a roller coaster. He craved that, wanted that. He was desperate for a moment that he could choose for himself and not out of fear for the consequences if he broke his vow. ‘I don’t know how to do that.’
‘I know,’ Adriano said. He reached out this time, touching Noah’s cheek, then dragging his hand down to cup the back of his neck. He held there for a long time, letting the warmth of his palm soothe Noah’s frayed nerves. ‘I like it here. With you.’
