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Adriano nodded, feeling a little apprehensive about turning his baby over to a paddock with a bunch of other animals, but Liam had been great with Jude at the cat café, so he trusted him. He straightened his shoulders, then turned to Fitz and pointed to the notepad. “Can I borrow that?”
Fitz blinked then grinned and nodded, handing it over. Adriano signed a quick thanks, then turned on his heel and crossed the grass toward the men who had gotten back to work. Liam noticed him first, and he said something to his companion who stopped and looked over his shoulder. Adriano watched as his eyes went wide, as his tanned skin went a bit pale, then pink around his ears.
The man recognized him.
Adriano held up the hand not holding the leash and notepad in greeting, then stopped a couple feet away to scribble on the paper.Helping Fitz. Fitz say u watch Jude 4 me?
Liam took the note, his tongue darting over his lips nervously as he read, and Adriano was pretty sure he let out a nervous laugh before he looked back up and pointed to his companion. ‘This is my boyfriend, Isaac.’
Adriano offered his sign name. ‘Do you sign?’
Isaac flushed all over and made a see-saw gesture with his hand, then rubbed a circle around his chest with a fist. ‘Sorry.’
Adriano waved him off, then took to writing again because he just wasn’t in the mood to deal with half signs and pantomime.It’s fine. Writing good. Jude OK here?
Isaac, who was reading over Liam’s shoulder, looked up and nodded eagerly. He nudged his partner out of the way before dropping to his knees, and Jude wasted no time at all endearing himself to the total strangers. In seconds, he was on his back baring his stomach for pets.
Liam laughed and rubbed the back of his neck before tapping his chest with his thumb and wiggling his fingers. ‘Fine.’
Adriano nodded. ‘Thanks.’ He pointed to himself, then over to where Fitz was unloading, and Liam gave another nod. It wasn’t much, but it was something. Adriano watched Jude trot after Isaac, then pause by one of the small crates to sniff before scrambling back. Probably an irritated cat, and Adriano didn’t blame the thing. He hated the feeling of being closed in and locked up.
It was strange how a life of freedom to live however he wanted had started to feel like a cage. And part of it was being Sylent. Part of it was being a publicly consumed celebrity with no real right to privacy. But part of it was also letting himself get lost in theideaof himself rather than the man he was.
How a small town with barely thirty thousand people managed to break down those walls was beyond him, but he felt like he could breathe for the first time. When he got back to Fitz, he had a smile on his face as he was put to work. The boxes were heavy, and he was sweating even harder. He was surrounded by people he couldn’t really speak to, most of whom didn’t know who he was from Adam. And he felt something like home.
* * *
The anti-cilantro foodtruck rolled up to the market around noon, so Adriano headed over to the window with Fitz and ordered a couple of burritos to take back to the bakery. They got along okay with Fitz’s poor signing and the notepad, but Adriano was relieved to see that he was trying, that he was working on picking up more ASL.
His right hand was the only thing that gave him trouble, his thick fingers stiff, and he apologized for them repeatedly until Adriano touched his arm, then wrote a long paragraph in his best English to ease his worry.
I didn’t know a lot of Deaf growing up, but in college there was club with diverse group. There were Deaf missing hands, Deaf with CP, Deafblind…not all equal, you know? ASL hard language, and I’m glad you try. I can’t read lips well, and HAs only help me hear traffic or dog barking. I don’t want you to keep working with your hand if uncomfortable. Notepad is fine.
Fitz’s smile was sheepish as he scribbled out his reply.I was burned in a fire when I was twelve on a Boy Scout camping trip. I’m right-handed but had to relearn everything with my left. Therapy helps. I do knitting and crochet to help flexibility. I just know how much it sucks to not have access. I’m not ashamed of my arm, but I’m sorry I’m not better for you.
Adriano shook his head and patted his shoulder again.You will be. Sign Language can adapt to the way you need it.He liked the way Fitz went soft around the edges, the way his smile reached his eyes. These people were good people, genuinely good people. They cared in ways Adriano hadn’t seen in years. Hell, maybeever. They weren’t looking for any and every opportunity to step on someone else to climb a rung higher on the ladder leading to absolutely nowhere.
They just wanted to exist, and that was enough for them.
And God—God—he wanted that to be enough for him too.
Fitz tapped him, then nodded to the food truck where a guy was leaning out the side offering out Adriano’s bag, so he got up and grabbed it, tucking it under his arm. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw the paddock was up, and Isaac was sitting in the middle of it with two small goats and Jude who were all running after a ball.
“Do you think he’ll mind if I take these to Noah?” Adriano asked aloud.
Fitz shook his head and wrote a quick note.No, but if he does, I’ll take over. I’m glad you like Noah. He’s been through a lot.
Adriano stared at the note until the words blurred. Normally, that kind of pressure would terrify him or send him running. He didn’t want to feel like he was responsible for someone’s happiness, but it was wholly different with Noah. He didn’t want to be Noah’s whole world, but he wanted to be part of it. And he wanted to be more than a man who worked him up and got him off. He wanted to be someone that made Noah smile the moment he walked into a room. He wanted to be one reason of many that made Noah’s life feel complete.
“He’s a good person.”
Fitz nodded, and there was a ferocity in his eyes Adriano didn’t quite understand. He was missing a lot, he knew. Noah had suffered as a kid—for his funny accent, and bad English, and strange customs. Too much like Adriano. Adriano’s Deaf identity came first above all things, so it wasn’t often he met someone who had assimilated less than he had, but Noah had all but cut himself off from everyone.
He was slowly stepping out a bit more, though. And Adriano felt a wave of gratitude that he could be there to see it.
He tipped a wave at Fitz, signed a promise to be back later, even if Fitz didn’t catch all of it, then he hurried down the street. He was glad it wasn’t far, and he smelled bread baking as he turned the corner, a smile lighting up his face at the sight of the bakery window.
Pulling the door open, Adriano saw Noah’s employee, Paxton, standing behind the counter. They hadn’t officially met yet. Paxton was usually on his way out when Adriano arrived, so he offered a smile, which was returned, though there was something in Paxton’s eyes that Adriano didn’t much like.
