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Chapter One
Emilia
Nature was a symphony around me. The woods had always been my refuge, even as a little girl. I had come here whenever I was distressed, losing myself in the lush greenery, in the twittering calls of the birds, and the vivid colors of the flowers all around me. I had come here when my world had been shattered, when I had returned from school to find my parents embroiled in an argument. The high-pitched screams of my mother were etched into my soul, stabbing my father like a dagger. He looked defeated, his shoulders slumped, all the vigor of the man drained from him, as though he was nothing more than a deflated balloon. She ranted and raved like a maniac, but really, she was the one who was sane.
I had run inside and tried to stop her, tried to talk some sense into her, but she rounded on me and looked at me with the eyes of a banshee. Spittle flew from her mouth as she spoke.
“I know you’ve always been a Daddy’s girl Emilia, but you’ve never known the man. Neither have I. Look at this,” she said, thrusting her cell phone into my hands. I blinked and glanced down, not understanding what was happening yet. The picture came into focus. It was a blurry image, and yet entirely clear at the same time. It was Dad with another woman, his hand around her head, brushing back her blonde hair, his face nuzzled to hers in a show of intimacy that should have been kept for Mom.
It didn’t make sense. This man who had always been there for me, had read me bedtime stories and nursed me when I was sick. This man who had made me feel as though I was the most important thing in the world had done… this? The thought made me sick.
“Emilia I…” he began, but when I looked up at him, he wasn’t the same man as before. Something had changed. He was less than my father. He was just like all the others now, like the men Mom had warned me about. She grabbed her phone back and shook her head in disgust, turning on him.
“See what you’ve done?” she asked him, accusation thick in her voice. He looked hopeless again.
In that moment I didn’t care what had drawn him to this other woman, or what had driven him away. He kept saying that he could explain, but I wasn’t interested in an explanation. He had broken something that I thought had been immutable. He had taken this precious thing, our family, and tainted it, and I knew in that moment that I would never forgive him.
I turned and I ran. I ran as fast as I possibly could, leaving them both behind in their world of anger. I ran past the convenience store and across the wide road where animals always risked becoming road kill, and then I lunged through the forest on the other side. I slalomed through the thick trees that stood like guardians, I caught my arms on sharp branches and gorse bushes, but I kept running until I was alone in nature, because I felt safe.
And it was the same now, but I wasn’t sure what I was running from.
Bracken crackled under the weight of my feet. I reached out and caressed leathery leaves, hoping that somehow, I would be able to glean wisdom from these ancient things. I eventually came to a stop, pressing my hands against the rough bark of a tree. There was a carving, four initials inside a heart, a mark of love shared between two people. I had no idea who they were of course, but I did wonder if their love had lasted as long as this carving.
I wondered if any love could.
Emilia you’re the only person I want in my life. I know we’re young, but why does that mean we don’t know what we want? I know this, more than I’ve known anything else before. I can’t breathe without you. I can’t do anything without you Emilia. We have the rest of our lives to spend together, and I can’t think of anyone who I would rather spend it with. Will you marry me?
That’s what Peter had said as he held my hands and looked at me with his bright, soulful eyes. I had been utterly dumbstruck. He had smiled and told me that I did not need to make my mind up now, that I had a chance to think about it. He had pressed the ring into my palm, a slim band of gold with a single, small shining crystal. I knew he must have saved up to afford it, even if it wasn’t the most extravagant ring around. That didn’t matter to me though. What mattered was the sentiment of the question.
Part of me wanted to throw myself into the wind and say yes, but another, greater part was more cautious. I always had been, to protect myself. I had seen my parents’ relationship disintegrate. Nothing had seemed as steadfast as their love. Them being together had been a fact of life for me, until they were together no longer. Was every marriage designed to have a time limit? Was heart break passed down genetically? I did not want to condemn Peter and I to a life of unhappiness, and how was I supposed to promise myself to him when I still wasn’t sure about who I was and what my place in the world was?
We were just 18, only having graduated high school recently. I remember at prom he had had this twinkling smile on his face as he said that our lives were going to change. He knew then that he was going to ask me to marry him. He was safe and he had always been there for me. He was my best friend. I had told him things that I had never told anyone else. He knew all my doubts and fears, my hopes and dreams, and yet still I had not said yes. I don’t know if it was just that I wasn’t ready. I don’t know if it was just that I didn’t want to get married because I was afraid of reliving the destiny of my parents. I don’t know if it was because I didn’t love him as much as I thought.
Uneasy tension lay within my stomach, churning and bubbling. I needed to come out here and try to figure things out, try to know what I was going to tell him whenever I headed back to my real life. But out here I could take some time.
I wandered through the trees again until I heard some noise. There was the cacophony of a waterfall that I had expected to find, a gentle sheen of water that flowed into a lake, surrounded by craggy rocks. I had not expected to hear the laughter of two men in the lake, however. I peered at them from the tree line, hugging the closest tree tightly. They were waist deep in the water. They had similar features, and yet were entirely unique. There was something about them that seemed larger than life as well. I couldn’t put my finger on what, but it was almost as though there was something glowing about them, as though the air shimmered around them. The one on the left had a thick mane of golden-brown hair. His shoulders were broad, and the muscles of his body were defined in hard angles. He had a swirl of tribal tattoos covering his right shoulder, descending down the right side of his chest, before tapering away as the ink seeped into his abs. His skin glistened with water, giving him an unearthly sheen. His jaw was lined with a dark beard, and if there was ever a man who embodied the essence of masculinity then it was him. I couldn’t help but feel something twitching inside me, some deep instinct that had been woven into my DNA that responded to the sight of him. My lips parted, a deep breath rushed out of me. A hazy feeling entered my mind.
The man beside him was a little shorter and leaner. He had the physique of a swimmer, long and slender, yet still with plenty of muscle definition. He was clean shaven and had no tattoos, while his hair was shorter. His skin was a shade darker as well. At one point he lifted his hands and ran them across his scalp, and his biceps swelled, showing that the strength he possessed was more than what it first appeared to be. His hands were huge as well. I had never realized it until that moment, but hands were something I found hot. He had long, slender fingers and a wide palm that felt as though it could capture the whole world.
I had no idea who these men were or what they were doing there, and I felt like a voyeur as I watched them. Their rumbling laugh bellowed out of their throats, sounding more like a roar than anything else. I felt as though I should turn away. I wasn’t the kind of person to invade other people’s privacy, and yet I was transfixed by them.
Then they fell silent. They tilted their heads back into the air as though they were sniffing something. I soon realized what it was they had smelled.
It was me.
They looked directly towards me, as though there was no forest at all. I was filled with panic and the sense to run again. I turned on my heels and just took off in whichever direction I was facing. My feet slammed against the ground, causing tremors to rise and reverberate through my bones. I don’t know what scared me most about these men, I just had a sense of danger within me. I sprinted away and cried out as I took the whipping blows of the branches. I looked back, twisting my head as frantic breaths burst out of my mouth, only I didn’t see them. I saw vague shapes moving in the shadows, but they seemed more animal than men. I blinked, trying to clear my vision and my mind because I knew something must have been playing a trick on me.
Then I looked back again and I saw it. I gasped and almost stopped straight away. It was a lion. The biggest, most fearsome lion I had ever seen, and it was rampaging through the forest. I had no idea where it had come from. I suppose I had always heard stories of mountain lions, but they must have strayed from their home. My heart was pulsing now, the fear sizzling in my mind. Suddenly this forest didn’t seem as much of a refuge as it had before.
Suddenly nowhere in the world seemed safe.
My body twisted around as I moved forward, yet my head gazed back, unable to stop looking at the lion. I still had to look where I was going though. When I swung my head forward, I saw the thick branch waiting for me, but it was too late to duck. The impact knocked me off my feet and I crashed to the ground, groaning. Pain rippled through my mind and my head throbbed with agony. I rolled and writhed and tried to get back to my feet, but somehow nothing worked properly. It was as though the world was ebbing away, and I could do nothing except allow myself to be swallowed by the darkness. In the back of my mind there was a steady thrum as the lion’s paws thundered against the ground.
Soon enough I wouldn’t be able to give Peter an answer at all. I wouldn’t be able to do anything.
Chapter Two
Naaro
