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She’d only been under my roof for a short time, but I already missed her. Her presence made the world seem lighter and I had looked forward to coming back home to her as soon as I’d walked out the door. Her sassy sense of humor was adorable, and she liked to talk a big game, but I knew she had a big heart inside her. She kept it walled off to protect herself, but she let it down with me.
She hadn’t reached out to talk to me either and I realized that she shouldn’t be expected to. I was the one that needed to contact her first. That morning, I decided to take the first step in letting her know that I missed her. I called my driver, and he met me out front a few minutes later. As we pulled away from the curb, I took a deep, steadying breath.
I didn’t want to send Caitlin away. She’d be safe from the same mafia world that killed her mother, but I didn’t know if I could bear being away from her for the rest of her life. I’d also have to depend on others to look after her because dangers had a way of creeping up on you when you least expected it. Someone could find her and use her against us just to volley for power and I already knew that I’d give up whatever they wanted just to keep her alive and unhurt.
I didn’t trust anyone else to keep her safe. With someone as important as her, I could only depend on myself to get the job done. She was far too important to put in someone else’s hands. If I kept her by my side, I could protect her. She wouldn’t be safe from everything, but if anyone even dared to look in her direction, let alone even touch her, I wouldn’t hesitate to pull the trigger first. I’d jump in front of a bullet for her, no questions asked.
Even as the endless debate circled in my head, I knew what I was ultimately going to do. It might be selfish, but I was falling for her, and my brothers could see it plain as day. There was no hiding my feelings for Caitlin anymore. With a deep breath, I finally decided. I was going to keep her. The only question now was whether or not she wanted that too.
I picked up my phone and started making some calls.
I was going to win her back.
CHAPTER19
Caitlin
I hadn’t left the hotel since I’d arrived. There was a coffee shop on the first floor, so there really wasn’t any need. The lattes and the iced coffees were to die for, but that wasn’t all. They served piping hot breakfast sandwiches and lunches, as well as a bunch of snacks that I could take up to the room. I spent my mornings there watching the people move around me, remarking in how different life was on the west coast compared to the east coast.
The front desk called a bit later in the afternoon when I was back in the room offering me a full body massage, a masking glow renewing facial as well as a luxury manicure and pedicure as a thank you to the Murphy family. I was a bit reluctant at first, but when she assured me that it was on the house, I eventually agreed.
It was the most relaxing afternoon of my life. I’d never experienced anything like it before and by the time it was over, I was a pile of melted girly goo. There was a full juice bar inside the spa and when I was done, they offered me a complementary protein shake. At first, I was a bit overwhelmed by all the flavors, but I eventually settled on a banana, peanut butter, and chocolate one. It was so good it was practically an appetizer, dinner, and dessert all rolled into one.
By the time I got back to my room, I crawled into bed, not wanting to do anything more than watch a movie before I fell asleep. It was when I was alone in that dark that I started to feel his absence. Thus far, I’d been able to keep myself busy, but now that I was left alone with my thoughts, all I could think about was him.
Sure, the mafia business had been a bit much to take, but it honestly wasn’t the biggest surprise considering everything I’d learned. In the end, it made sense. I could also understand why he’d wanted to keep that part from me, at least initially. The part about my mother and his refusal to tell me about her hit much harder and I knew why. I liked him and not just a little bit. If I really thought about it, I think I sort of loved him.
Who was I kidding? It wasn’t sort of anything. I loved him and I knew it.
I picked up my phone and stared at his number. I wanted to text him, but something made me hold back. If I asked anyone for advice right now, they would tell me to wait and that I was too desperate if I went running to him first. The yearning to just hear his voice didn’t go away. I searched his name in a browser and took a few minutes to find a picture of him. His kind soulful eyes stared at me through the screen and a little sliver of relief burst through me, but it was short lived.
That night, I fell asleep hugging a pillow while I pretended it was him.
* * *
Knock. Knock.
Blearily, I blinked. My mind groggily processed the fact that someone was at my door, and I groaned as I pushed myself up out of bed. Had Cormac finally come for me? Would he be angry? Would he punish me for running from him in the first place?
The sun was already up and the fancy clock on the nightstand indicated that it was just past ten in the morning. I padded out of the bedroom and into the living room section of the suite to answer the door.
It was room service.
“I didn’t order anything,” I said quietly, even as the waiter pushed the cart into the room.
“Mr. Murphy sent this on his behalf,” he nodded. Quickly he unloaded the platters of food.
Which Murphy did he mean? Had Kieran sent this or was it too much to hope for to know that Cormac had ordered for me instead?
When he was done, he held out an envelope for me and I hesitantly took it. When I remembered that I should probably tip him, I looked up to find him already gone.
My name was inscribed on the front of the envelope. I flipped it over and pulled out the thick piece of stationery. Immediately, I looked to the bottom of the letter and my heart swelled it in my chest.
Caitlin,
I’ve been thinking a lot about you.
I just wanted you to know that I understood why you left. You were right. I should have been honest with you and I’m sorry that I wasn’t. Whenever you’re ready, I’d like a chance to tell you my side of the story. It’s okay if you never want to hear it though. I will understand either way.
