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“I would think there wouldn’t be enough kids for a school here.”
He hadn’t paid a ton of attention, but he’d been at the town hall during a planning session. He’d been hired to pass out popcorn. It had been entertaining. “I heard something about mixed-use classrooms and putting grades together. They want to hire at least three teachers, and there would be a bunch of volunteers to do things like work the lunchroom and provide PE and library services. It’s always going to be small, but they want it to grow with the kids. I think technically it’s going to be considered a private school.”
“They need teachers.” Elisa seemed pleased with that idea as she eased the car out of the parking lot and onto the road. The snow had started falling again.
“You thinking of changing professions?”
“No, but my sister is a teacher,” she replied. “She’s taught several different elementary grades.”
His heart clenched at the thought. “You’re going to stay, aren’t you? You’re going to make this place your home.”
“I think so, but the idea of a school makes me wonder if I’m not moving way too fast with Hale,” she admitted.
“Why would you say that? I know things moved fast, but it’s not like you’re getting married.”
“But I hope that’s where we’re going, and he’s told me he hopes that, too.”
They’d talked about marriage? His chest suddenly felt too tight. Not because the thought of marrying Elisa made him anxious. It was the fact that he hadn’t been involved in that conversation. They were moving forward without him. Like they said they would because he’d told them he wasn’t going to stay.
Had they been doing more than having sex when they cuddled together after he left? Were they planning their futures in those late night/early morning hours when he ran like the scared child he seemed to be?
“Then I don’t see what the problem is.” He was well aware that had come out harsher than he’d intended.
“I don’t see a world in which I can have a child.”
Shit. This was a serious talk, and he wasn’t sure she should be having it with him. Or maybe she was looking for someone on the outside to give her advice. She’d said can not want. “I don’t think he’ll care. I know I wouldn’t. He’s in love with you, not the idea of you having his baby. I would bet Hale’s never really thought about having kids. I know I haven’t. But you have.”
Her hands tightened on the wheel. “I’m on medication. I can’t get pregnant while I’m on the meds, and I need to be on the meds for at least five years, maybe longer. I could get off them…”
He knew why she was on those meds. “Absolutely not. I know exactly what he would say right now. He would tell you that he doesn’t want you to risk yourself for the idea of something that might or might not happen. You are precious, Elisa.”
She sniffled but kept her eyes steady as she started down the road. “I appreciate that. I always thought I would have a kid and I would do everything different.”
“Then be different. If you want a kid, pick one who needs you. Pick one like Hale. He was fourteen when he went into foster care, and he never came out.” His heart actually ached at the thought of not being a part of that family. “There’s more to being a mom than giving birth to a baby. You don’t have to give up on that dream. All you have to do is modify it slightly.”
She chuckled, an oddly emotional sound. “That’s more than slightly, Van, but you’re right. And I am moving way too fast.”
He knew he shouldn’t argue with her, but he couldn’t help himself. “Or you found what you’re looking for, and there’s no need to wait. I think sometimes life just clicks into place, and there’s no reason to fight it or wait around. You take a leap. It was that way for my brother. He met his wife and they married very quickly.”
“But it’s not that way for you,” she said on a sigh, and then she shook her head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m not trying to push you.”
“You don’t have to, baby. Don’t you think if there was a way for me to stay, I would? But I’ve lived my whole life skirting responsibility, and I can’t this time. Even if my brother didn’t need me, what would I do here? You’ve got a job. Hale’s constantly working. I don’t think the Trading Post needs a marketing manager. Trio has more business than it can handle. No one needs me here.”
“Is marketing your passion?”
He could turn that around. “Is being a deputy yours?”
“I think it could be,” she admitted. “I know I like helping people, and it would be far harder to do that in a city police force. They have other problems. Here, I can stop and help people on the side of the road, and I can volunteer my time because I’m not going to be forced to work overtime. I can work with kids at the new school. I know I could do some of those things in Dallas, but not the way I can here. Now could you answer my question?”
