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“And you feel shame?”
Elisa thought about that word for a moment. “I feel…sad. I guess I don’t feel shame. I was worried I would embarrass you and my dad. It would have embarrassed my mom. She would have been upset with me.”
She’d been hearing her mother in her head all morning long. Since the moment she’d realized she was alone in bed, she’d heard a long lecture about how stupid she’d been to think it could work. Every bit of self-doubt came out in her mom’s voice.
“But why?” Cassidy seemed to genuinely not understand.
“In our world it would be considered slutty behavior to sleep with one man the same day you met him, much less two.”
“But you liked them and they liked you. Women have needs, too. That’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Cassidy’s eyes narrowed. “Unless they did not meet your needs, and then I will have a talk with those boys.”
The thought of Cassidy lecturing Van and Hale on how to pleasure a woman made her smile, and something eased inside her.
She didn’t have to live her mother’s life. She didn’t have to run away and hide because this morning hadn’t worked out. Things didn’t even have to be weird between her and the guys. She would take some time and think about it because she might be too sensitive. Or instead of sitting on it, she could talk about it with the weirdest, kindest, coolest woman she’d met in a long time. “I was worried about how I would feel being naked because radiation left me with some skin discoloration, and I have scars.”
Now Cassidy was sitting up straight. “Did they say something to you?”
If her mom had been the one sitting across from her, she would have taken this time to point out that she was a fool to think a man would accept her imperfections. She wouldn’t have had a retaliatory gleam in her eyes. Elisa wouldn’t have had a little worry that her mother might try to fuck with Van or Hale’s auras. “Not really. Hale said something about it not being so bad, and I worry I might have been overly sensitive about it.”
“You have every right to be sensitive after everything you’ve gone through,” Cassidy insisted. “I want to make it plain to you that I am so happy you’re here and proud that I get to be your stepmom. I know it’s an odd situation to be in, but I’m so excited to get to know you. And your dad is, too. He would have come into town with me but he had some work to do.”
There was something deeply soothing about being around this woman. “It’s okay. I don’t want to disrupt his life, but I would like to spend time with him. I’ve been thinking about hanging around for a while. I don’t have much to go home to. I have my sister, but she works a lot. Neither of us is happy where we are. I want to see if I can find a place for us. Something new.”
“You want to see if you like it here?” Cassidy had the biggest smile on her face.
“You and Dad…you are my only family besides Sabrina. I don’t have a big group of friends. I think if I like it here my sister might come with me.” She wasn’t giving up on this. There was no amount of embarrassment that would make her walk away from getting to know her dad. And her stepmom. “Would that be okay? I could maybe stay through the winter.”
Cassidy practically beamed. “I would love it so much. Your sister can come out for the holidays, and we’ll have such a lovely time. Oh, it’s beautiful here at Christmastime. There is nothing I would love more than you staying here. I know we just met, but I already love you, honey.”
Maybe she’d been looking for the wrong connection the night before. Maybe this was what she needed. “I hope I can be worthy. I don’t know that my mom taught me how to be a good daughter.”
“All you have to do is show up. That’s the secret to most things in life. Just be present and we’ll find our way. You know you could stay in our guest room. Right now it’s dedicated to our network communications, but we can move all that equipment to the bunker.”
Oh, she was starting to love this woman, but she was also realistic. “I think I need my own space, but I promise to let you feed me as often as possible. I would like to find a cabin or maybe an apartment in Del Norte. It’s close enough. I need to find a job though. I’m not good at sitting around.”
Cassidy lifted a hand and started to speak.
“No alien hunting, bonus mom.” Elisa was already figuring her new family out. “Something that pays a little.”
