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“How would you know that?”
“Because I called Trio and got Pilar’s number and I talked to her. I’ve got a basic description of the woman, and I’ll start looking for her tomorrow. I’ll get to the bottom of this. It’s apparently what I do now. I think I’ll make a good detective. I’ve always been good at figuring out a mystery.”
“I’m not a mystery to solve.”
She laughed at that thought. “You’re not a mystery at all, Van. You wear your pain like a sweater you wrapped around your soul at a young age, and you can’t figure out how to take it off. All of this, all the fights and anxiety and moving from place to place, it’s because you haven’t planted a flag in the ground and said this is my home. This is the place I can’t be moved from. You were taught that in childhood by your parents.”
“My parents, who are actually pretty happy.”
“Because they take their home with them always. Because they’re each other’s home. I know how you feel. I grew up on various bases, though we did have one place to go back to. I had a traditional home in a sense, but what I didn’t have was a mother who invited me in. I never knew her in the way I should have because she wouldn’t allow it. I’ve been looking for a place to plant my flag for a long time now, but what I’ve figured out is I can plant it but if I don’t feel it, it means nothing. I married a man because I thought it was time and he was the next logical step. There are no steps. Moving here could be the most foolish thing I’ve ever done, but I’m doing it because it feels right and for the first time in my life, I’m going to chase that feeling. I’m going to let the instinct I tried to kill off lead me, and if it all falls apart, I’m going to give myself the grace to know that at least I tried.” She moved into his space. “And I’m going to try with you. You are too young for me. You are way too damaged for me. I’m still going to do this.”
She tilted her head up and brushed her lips over his.
His whole body went taut, desire flooding his system. This was a terrible idea. Hale was in the other room. He was hurt and it was Van’s fault, and he couldn’t possibly think about kissing Hale’s girl.
But she could be more if you let her. She could be your woman. She could be the woman who completes us.
The kiss turned into wildfire, his tongue surging into her mouth, dominating hers as she went soft under him. This was such a mistake, but it was one he was helpless not to make. The minute her lips had met his, all the reasons he wasn’t good for her had flown out of his head. All that mattered now was getting her naked, getting her under him and showing her what he was good at.
He dragged her sweater over her head and tossed it to the side. He should take her to one of the bedrooms, but there was no time. He unhooked her bra and it joined the sweater, and she was bathed in the warm light from the fire. He stared down at her. “You are so fucking gorgeous.”
“You make me feel that way. You and Hale. I’ve never felt like this before. I’m worried I’ll be chasing this feeling for the rest of my life.”
Or he could stay around and ensure she didn’t have to. He shoved the thought out of his head because he wasn’t worried about the future tonight. He would have to deal with a lot of things in the morning, but not tonight. She was giving him refuge, a sanctuary where he could find some comfort, and he was going to take it. He turned her around so her back was to his chest, and he cupped her breasts.
“I love how these feel in my hands.” He weighed them against his palm, trying to memorize the shape and feel of them.
Then he let one hand trail down her body, seeking her heat. He teased his fingers under the waistband of her pants and found the edge of her panties. “I definitely love how this feels.”
He let his fingertip glide over her clitoris and felt a deep satisfaction when she gasped and shuddered in his arms. Her pelvis thrust gently against his hand, begging him for more.
He gave it to her. His thumb worked her clit while he let his fingers find the wet heat of her pussy. She responded so quickly. Already her pussy was coated with arousal, warming his fingers and making his cock hard as a rock. He rubbed himself against her ass, trapping her between his hand and cock and holding her there.
