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We walked in silence for at least a few minutes before she continued.

‘Neither my dad nor my grandma was on my side. They didn’t believe that I actually had feelings for Scott, not that, but they didn’t stop Kimberly from saying all the things she said to me either. They thought I was being ridiculous. I don’t know how to get over it. Any of it. They keep saying I’m too sensitive or I’m making a big deal out of nothing, but I’m pretty much done being quiet.’

‘How did she let it go?’

‘Kimberly?’

I nodded.

‘I have no idea. I guess she believed me after all because she came to my office a few days later and said that she’d just gotten jealous.’

‘But she didn’t apologize?’

‘Nope. Even if she had apologized, the fact that she actually believed I could even think something like that…’

‘It’s hard to gain back trust. I understand.’

‘I’m still sorry for how I acted tonight. I didn’t want you to see that.’

‘Why?’ I pushed. ‘I’m just some random guy you bump into every now and then.’

‘You’re not though.’ I felt her eyes on me so I met her gaze. ‘Not really. I had a big thing for you,’ she admitted with a small and sad smile that didn’t make me happy to look at. ‘It’s embarrassing for me.’

‘Let me repeat it. You have nothing to be embarrassed about – tonight didn’t change what I think about you as a person in any way. But if it’s gonna make you feel better we can forget about it.’

She nodded. ‘I’d really appreciate that.’

It took us another ten minutes to reach our street and we found ourselves yet again standing in front of her building.

Charlie glanced up to her apartment window and I followed her gaze.

‘You think he’ll hear you again?’ I whispered.

She shook her head. ‘He is home tonight. He usually just sleeps when I’m gone.’

I didn’t want to let go of her just yet, so I asked something that’d been on my mind. ‘How is the job hunting going?’

‘I had an online interview yesterday. After work. I don’t think we were a good fit. I’ll keep looking.’

‘I can help you,’ I offered. ‘If you’d like.’

Her eyebrow rose. ‘Help me how?’

I gestured towards the stairs leading up to her building door and sat down. She followed suit.

‘I can call a friend, Nora, she just started a new PR company in California. I think they need to hire a few more people. They’d be lucky to have you.’

Linking my hands, I let my forearms rest on my thighs.

‘You think they’ll be okay with an online interview since I can’t leave work right now to go to California. For an interview I mean.’

‘Sure, why not?’

A teenager and his dad walked past with their labrador and we paused our conversation as we watched them running in circles around the dad.

‘I can also talk to someone from the company I just left, but I don’t think it’d be a good choice for you. Nora might be a better option.’

‘I’m gonna accept the help because it doesn’t look like I’m making any progress on my own. I keep pushing things back and delaying my life, it feels like. I’d really appreciate that, William. Thank you so much.’

I smiled and inclined my head.

There was a comfortable silence between us, and I think neither one of us wanted to break it, or leave it behind. Not just yet.

I stared straight ahead. ‘This list you wrote. What else is on it? Do I get to ask?’

‘What else…’ she hummed and then chuckled a little. ‘The kissing is there, I’m afraid. Pretty high on the list too.’ She hid her face in her hands and groaned. ‘I’m pretty focused on the kissing.’

I laughed quietly. ‘You really miss it, huh?’

‘I think so. I miss the easy part of the relationship, I guess. Waking up and just being happy to have someone you love next to you and just kissing. The first few months before Craig left felt really good. He was different. The kissing thing sucked, but everything else was good.’

‘Always the kissing,’

She nodded with a big grin on her face. ‘How about you? You miss it?’

‘I don’t think it’s been long enough for me, yet.’ But I thought about it. Maybe. Maybe I had missed the easy parts of being in a relationship. The happy parts. Lindsey and I hadn’t experienced those parts all that much towards the end. ‘What else is on there?’ I asked, trying to distract myself from relationships and kissing and Charlie’s lips which were bare and yet still somehow a dark pink.

Charlie brought her knees together, put her elbows on her thighs and rested her face in her hands.

‘I have the honesty thing in there. I try to say whatever I’m feeling or thinking – most of the time – so I don’t have a buildup of emotions.’ She gave me a quick look then focused forward again. ‘It’s not exactly a bucket list kinda thing. It’s more like a list of how I should live my life. I have flirting on there.’

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