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What is wrong with me? She’s doing things to my head I don’t understand.
On our way home from D.C., I slept most of the way. Will had no idea I ever left the hotel. He was busy entertaining the woman he met in the lobby after the game, which gave me a lot of time alone to make a hasty decision. As soon as we got back to Philly, I ate dinner with Will at the Chinese restaurant below Mia’s apartment, and then he went out to meet the waitress from The Sixth Floor.
All day I’d thought about confessing what I did to Will. I promised Mia I’d grow a pair and tell him. But with the playoffs in full swing, I can’t afford to ruin our team camaraderie by starting what could be the worst fight of my life with Will. We have to get through this series before I go down that path, which makes me wonder if we’d all be better off if the last week never happened.
With the apartment to myself, I move into the living room and sink to the floor. I sit on the yoga mat I found in Mia’s hallway closet and laugh. The thought of Mia using this mat is hilarious. Someone must’ve given it to her as a gift, hence why I found it buried under old boxes and covered in a layer of dust.
Shirtless and in a pair of black basketball shorts, I lie back on the mat. Moving my hands behind my head to support myself, I take it slow, as I sit up just enough for my abs to burn.
Today, the pain feels good. I welcome it. I need it. Exorcising the bad thoughts of Mia from my brain, I pick up the pace and raise my legs in the air, elevating them at the perfect angle.
I get lost in my workout, too focused on anything but the tingling sensation spreading throughout my body. Apart from the police sirens blaring in the distance, the silence calms me. By the time I hear the key turn in the lock, I’m on my seventh set.
Mia slams the door behind her, and I peek up at her. She moves into the room and stands over me, with her hands on her hips and biting her lip. It’s hard to tell if she’s annoyed or turned on. A little bit of both, maybe?
“At least someone is making use of that mat.” Mia laughs. “Lord knows it won’t be me.”
“You should work out with me.”
She slides the messenger bag she carries everywhere off her shoulder and onto the floor next to the coffee table. “You know I’m allergic to exercise.”
Without thinking, I reach up and grab her hand. She falls forward, and as I’d planned, she collapses on top of me. Her breath hitches when she locks eyes with me. Bright blue irises stare back, causing my heart to speed up.
Why does Mia have this effect on me? I should distance myself, but I want to be closer to her. And I hate myself for it.
She slides her fingers through my sweat-slick hair, pushing it off my forehead. Mia shakes her head, a smile already on her lips. “Why do you have to be you?”
“Not sure what you mean.”
“It’s just…” She turns her head away from me and sighs. “This is so hard.”
“I know.” I move my fingers beneath her chin. For what I want to say, I need her undivided attention. “I hate lying to Will. He’s my best friend and pretty much the only family I have other than my mom.” I tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear and sit up, our lips almost touching. “I want you, Mia. I’ve always wanted you.”
“You were my first crush,” she admits. “My first real friend. Until you disappeared without even saying goodbye.”
I let out a frustrated groan. “We’ve gone over this more times than I can count.”
“But you never answer my question. Why did you leave? Why didn’t you have enough respect for me to say goodbye?”
“Respect?” I close my eyes and sigh, leaning my forehead against hers. “If I didn’t respect you or your brother, I would’ve kissed you ten years ago. I would’ve been your first kiss. I would’ve been your first everything.”
She gasps. “Everything?”
I nod. “Everything. I wanted it all with you, Mia, but I couldn’t have you. My life was so fucked-up back then. I wasn’t about to drag you into my mess. You were always too good for me. You still are.”
“You’re only saying this because of Will,” she challenges. “If anyone was too good, it was you, Mr. Perfect. You were good at everything. There was nothing you could say or do to make people hate you. You were the golden boy of Lower Merion High School because everyone loves you.”
