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She stops walking and turns into my arm, resting her forehead against my chest. Holding her in the middle of the sidewalk, I say, “Jim didn’t know what he had, or maybe he’d forgotten. Not everyone is that forgetful.” I tilt her chin up to look at me. “You need to know that you’re beautiful and stronger than you think you are. And hot. So I might get a little overprotective or . . .” I hate that I’m about to say this but do it anyway. “Jealous. That’s because the time we spend together is perfect to me, just like you are.”
I feel her body shake as she sniffles. She drops her head down just as the tears begin to fall. A soft giggle and then a full-on laugh erupts as she steps back. With a playful hit to my chest, she says, “Damn, you are good with the compliments. I might have to keep you around.”
My chest tightens, knowing that everything I said, everything I just professed, has been twisted in her mind, leading us back to where we started. I drop my sunglasses back down onto my nose and take her hand tightly in mine again. After releasing one long sigh, I say, “C’mon. We’ve got some nachos to make and movies to watch.”
“I’m thinking a Scrabble rematch is in order.”
I laugh out loud. “That’s my feisty girl.”
She smiles to herself, then leans her head on my arm. We start walking again, leaving the deeper stuff to be dealt with for another day. It’s hard to get mad at her, even if she is oblivious to what this is, to what we are. She’ll see the truth one day. As for me, I look down at our hands clasped together, and yeah, this isn’t so bad.
Chapter 19
Charlie A
“So destiny brought us together?” I ask her as we walk down the street.
“I’m leaning more toward fate. Destiny has nothing to do with fate.” She says this like it’s a fact. It is . . . in her head.
“I always thought they were the same thing.”
“No, no, no. Not at all.” She looks at me like I’m crazy. Charlie’s so damn cute. “Fate is a negative outcome.”
“So we weren’t destined to be, well, what we are?” I ask, playing the innocent just to hear more about how her mind works.
“We became friends because of the funerals. That’s pretty negative, in my opinion.” She sounds almost disappointed by this realization. I know I am.
“Destiny is positive, then?” I egg her on because I love having conversations like this with her.
“Destiny is the exact opposite of fate. Destiny is the belief that forces beyond your control want you together and will make that happen. And you call yourself a writer!” She smirks in amusement because she loves to prove me wrong and is proud to do so at this moment.
“And I always thought you were my destiny.”
“Ha! I think I’m more your fate.” She jabs me in the ribs, then grabs my wrist, pulling me into a kitchen store.
I follow her through the tight aisles packed with cooking utensils and pans, but I’m still curious about the fate/destiny topic.
Picking up a rubber spatula, she states, “I like the red. Maybe I need to add more red into my life.”
“Red is daring. Are you ready to commit to making such a bold statement by using a red spatula in the privacy of your own home? Sounds crazy if you ask me.”
She doesn’t respond to my sarcasm. She’s gotten good at ignoring it. “Yes, I should be more daring. Look at Rachel. She loves red and wears it all the time.”
“You’re not Rachel.” I scrunch my nose. I like Rachel, but Charlie . . . she’s so much more.
“I know I’m not Rachel, but she’s daring and happy.”
“She has low standards if Justin is the one who makes her happy. You aren’t happy?” The thought of her unhappy bothers me.
“No, but I’m happy when I’m with you. There’s a difference.”
“You’ve lost me again.”
“Seems to be easy to do.”
“Maybe you need to give me a map of Charlie Barrow, so I can keep up with the different detours your mind takes.” I chuckle at my joke.
She points a peeler at me. It’s red. “Maybe you need more red in your life, too.”
I spin her around by the shoulders and muss up her hair just a little before kissing her playfully on top of her head. She’s laughing. She loves it. I can tell. “I think you’re all the red I can handle right now.”
She stops, tilting her head, her eyes wide with curiosity. “Just right now? Is this not an ongoing thing we’ve got going here?”
These little moments of insecurity on her part work in my favor. Without telling me directly, she’s letting me know she likes being in my life, too. So I tease a bit more, keeping her on her toes. “Are we back to the fate and destiny thing again?”
