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“I love you,” I whisper into his mouth.
He reaches up to hold the back of my head, almost as if he hasn’t come down from his own high, and he kisses me, his teeth lightly biting my lower lip as he sucks on it for a second, then lifts me off. Together, we groan at the loss.
I smile, lying on my side, watching his chest rise and fall while he catches his breath.
“Brett?”
The room is silent, save for the ocean. He stands and walks to the bathroom. And suddenly I’m cold, like everything that seconds ago felt right, might not be.
“Brett?” This time I sit up, clutching the sheet, because I just told him I love him, and he said nothing.
Horror stains my cheeks.No.This can’t be happening. He can’t seriously think he gets to walk away.
I may not be his age, but I’m not stupid. I know what I feel, and I know he has feelings for me. I mean, what exactly are we doing here? The toilet flushes, and he walks out, saying nothing. I stare at him. And my world that seconds ago seemed magical, dies.
I pull my knees up, clutching the sheet tighter as if that can shield me from this pain. Fuck it, I said my truth. Now he can tell me his. It can’t be worse than this silence.
“Did you hear me?” I’m hating how raspy my voice sounds, like I’m going to cry, but I’d rather die than cry right now.
He stares at me… and that’s all he does.
Time. It’s a tricky thing.
Moments that are powerful, so fucking incredible, all we want is to freeze time, allowing us to cherish them. A desperate need to cheat Father Time so that we can keep that moment with us longer.
Then there’s this…
Awful.
Humiliating.
That sick feeling that can’t be gone fast enough, but it stays, attacking the brain. Like a fucking virus, it spreads, fighting to keep itself alive. Eventually, it wins, because as much as we try to lie to ourselves, it’s there inside us, haunting us day and night.
He walks over to his dresser and jerks it open.
“I said I love you.” I try to swallow past the lump in my throat.
He pulls on some Adidas sweatpants.
“I heard you.” His voice… that voice that makes my stomach flutter and heart skip is gone.
I look up at the ceiling. My eyes are stinging, my face is on fire, but I will not give in and let those burning tears out. Standing, I jerk on my black dress, which was laying on the floor.
“I won,” I state, straightening my shoulders.
He walks over to his window and looks out at the view, arms crossed.
“You won what, Alexandrea?”
“I won yesterday. You said name it.I want your truths.” I take a breath, grabbing my $750 pair of Jimmy Choos and walk toward him. He stands, not moving as I wait.
“Silence?” I try to swallow. “What are we doing?”
He looks over at me, and I take a step back because his eyes… his eyes are nothing. Just blue eyes staring into my pained ones.
“Am I just a rush? Is that what this is? You getting off on taking me to the edge?” My voice cracks, and for a second, I see a flash of pain, maybe even fear, but it’s gone as he turns and stares out the window.
“I’m a scientist, Baby Girl. I’m not wired for these things that you seek. I don’t want anything that takes me away from my work.” His eyes travel over my face, and he turns back to the ocean.
