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The sadness stays in her eyes, that smile nowhere to be found.
I step closer and frame her pretty face with my large hands. “You are not nothing, Payton.”
She blinks. Then she blinks some more.
“Okay.” Her whisper is hardly convincing.
“Go take a shower.” I press a gentle kiss on her forehead. “We’ll talk after.”
I can see her doubt, and I don’t know if it’s because she doesn’t believe me, or if she thinks I won’t be here when she gets out of the shower. But I plan to prove her wrong on both accounts.
CHAPTER42
Payton
I hesitatefor a second before depressing the button in the center of the doorknob, locking the bathroom door.
Living alone means I rarely ever close this door, let alone lock it, but I feel raw. Inside and out.
It’s been such a long day and if I didn’t feel so filthy, literally, I’d just drop face first onto my bed. Thankfully, I don’t have to work tomorrow. I plan to sleep for twelve hours. At least.
Peeling off my clothes, I drop them into a pile on the floor in front of the sink, purposefully not looking at my new, stained thigh highs.
Letting the water warm up, I brush through my hair and twist it into a bun on the top of my head. I don’t want to deal with a full head of wet hair if we’re going to be talking when I get out.
Talking.
My teeth clamp down on my lower lip and I hurry to step over the tub ledge.
Hold it together, Payton.
I don’t.
Tears start filling my eyes.
Moving into the stream, I let the water wash over my roiling emotions.
I’m still hurt by Nero ignoring me at the café.
And I’m confused by the reaction he had to Carlton when we were simply talking.
Ashamed of how much I loved him showing up at the concert.
Nero found me. He came after me. He touched me, let me feel how much he wanted me.
But, when you put it all together, it doesn’t make sense. Or it does, but it means that Nero wants to have sex with me, but he doesn’t want anyone to know about it.
I turn away from the water, resting my forehead against the wall and letting the stream flow over my side and back.
I’m trying to keep the intrusive thoughts out. Trying to push them away as they tell me this is what I deserve. That it’s all I deserve. That I’ll never be more than someone’s dirty little secret.
At least I got to choose thewho.
Cool air swirls around me, a breeze flowing past the pulled back curtain, and I turn my head to find Nero stepping into my small shower.
The sight of his naked body in the light forces me to pause and take him in. No matter how confused I might be about this situation, there’s no question that he’s something to behold.
He’s built like a… well, like a warrior. Or maybe a soldier of old. Hard muscles and scarred flesh. Strength and violence twisted together into a formidable adversary.
