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Z smiled and nodded. “A bit. But, once again, not unlike my own experience.”
I raised a brow.
“Iwasthirty once, Trace.”
“Doubtful your life was as chaotic as mine is.” As soon as I spoke the words, I regretted them. His was far worse than mine. “Apologies,” I added.
“As much as you believe you weren’t in top form during Bexli’s rescue, I want you to consider how your self-doubt may impact your performance on this op.”
It was an excellent point. While Bexli was safe at my home in Shere, my determination to find Mithras and make him pay was just as personal as rescuing her had been. “Point taken.”
“Cayman, I’d like you to consider me a mentor, if you will, not someone who is constantlybadgeringyou.” He shuddered with the word.
“I handled things poorly on Gozo, and while I’d like to say I’ve learned from my mistakes, I would be lying. This part of the mission feels just as personal.”
“Harness it, Cayman. Make use of it. But remember what’s most important. Mithrasdid notact alone. In order to stop what Bexli suffered, we need to take down the entire organization. You’ve seen the amount of money going in and out. Think about how many people the sum represents.Thousandsof victims, many just like her.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Rather than continue the hot wash, I’d like to suggest everyone take time to focus and prepare for the upcoming op. I’ll alert the troops.”
“Copy that.”
Before I could stand to leave, he did. Less than five minutes passed before Nem sat where he’d been.
“How are you?” she asked.
“Stuck inside my bloody head.”
“Understood, Cay. What can I do to help?”
I wish it were as easy as ticking off a list, but it wasn’t. I needed to figure my shit out and fast. In less than two hours, we’d be on the ground in Sharm el-Sheikh. By then, I needed to be mission-ready. “Will you excuse me?” I said, getting up from my seat.
“Of course.” Nem’s brow was furrowed, making me wish there was something I could say to reassure her. First, I needed to do that for myself. I went to one of the two aft staterooms and knocked on the door of the left one. When no one responded, I went inside, locking the door behind me. I stretched out on the bed, trying to settle my thoughts, but instead of focusing on the objectives of the op, the only thing—person—on my mind was Bex. I dug out my mobile and rang her.
She answered on the first ring. “Cay? Are you there already?”
“Calling from the plane.”
“Are you all right?”
“Hearing your voice gets me closer to being so.”
“I feel the same way.”
“How are you managing?”
“I’ve been talking with Kima and Wren. They’re helping me with a, um, project.”
“Very nice. What is it?”
“I’d rather it be a surprise if you wouldn’t mind.”
“If it involves redecorating any part of the house, starting with my mother’s purple-and-red fiasco, I’m all for it.”
When she laughed, I wished so much I could be back in Shere to witness it. Just hearing it settled me.
“Cay? What’s wrong?”
