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I hold my breath, waiting for him to finish. Has he been thinking about our kiss? If he suggests we go out on a date, I can’t say yes. There’s simply no way.
“You still there?” His question kicks me back into the moment.
“Yeah. Still here. Waiting to hear what crazy thought you had.”
“Have you not been with anyone since Sam?”
“What?” I curl forward. That is the last question I expected. “Ian, you know I’ve dated other people.”
“Yeah, I know. But like I said, it’s crazy. And it’s not my business.”
Of course, that’s all he’d think about. Me and Sam. Oliver, being the brother closer to my age, had always been my dating confidante. I’ve never spoken much to Ian about my dating life. So, of course, he’d still think of me and Sam. And that New Year’s kiss, which strayed from platonic, probably disgusted him. Or didn’t register.
“I shouldn’t have said anything,” Ian mutters, his words laced with apology.
“Ian, do you have any idea how old I am?”
“Of course, I do. But every time I ask if you’re dating someone, the answer is no.”
“Well, I dated a guy for several years in my late twenties to early thirties.”
“Why don’t I know about him?”
“You were in the thick of med school and, I guess, maybe residency. I hardly ever saw you.”
“That makes sense. I was just—”
“And there was this guy who was a total gaslighting narcissist. Things ended with him about three years ago. And thanks to him, I learned I am happier on my own. And when I forget that, I go out on a date, and ten out of ten times my memory is refreshed before dessert arrives. A woman does not need a man to be happy and fulfilled.”
“I completely agree. And it was a crazy question. A woman like you would have, of course, dated.”
“You’re like everybody else in this town, aren’t you?”
“What do you mean?”
“You think I never got over Sam?” I swear, it’s so frustrating. To this day, women in the salon whisper about Sam as if they can’t speak about him for fear of upsetting me. It’s like we’re the Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston of Hill Country.
“Forget I asked. But for the record, I’ll never understand how he let you go.”
“That’s a nice thing to say. Sweet, but…it was a long time ago, Ian.”
The truth is, Sam and I grew apart, plain and simple. And when we broke up, it was pretty amicable. Neither of us said much to others about what happened out of respect for each other. And I’d been petrified I’d lose my connection to his family. But, in hindsight, maybe I should have been more outspoken. But the past is the past. I put it behind me, and at some point, everyone else would, too.
“What about you? We never talk about relationships. Have you had any serious ones?”
“No one I’d ever bring home.”
“What kind of women are you dating?”
“Busy ones. Good ones. I didn’t mean they were bad, I just meant I’ve never gotten close to anyone. I have colleagues who are married, and I can’t even fathom. Some got married during residency.” A heavy sigh crosses the line. “Others got divorced in residency. The hours, you know, they pull at you.”
“I guess that explains why your mom hasn’t ever mentioned anyone. But, you know, Ian, there’s more to life than work. There’s got to be.”
“Maybe. I could’ve chosen a life like Dad’s. Dinner every night with the kids, present at every game or awards ceremony.”
“Our dads were ranchers. They had a good life. Doesn’t mean you can’t, too.”
“I do have a good life. I’m doing exactly what I wanted. What about you?”
