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Finally, as I place her cup of coffee beside her on the nightstand, she starts telling him about Leif and Atlas, and then how she got stabbed. The wound is nearly fully healed now, just a faint red mark where the knife went in, but that doesn’t erase how horrific it was in the moment.
Wolf practically roars in response. I knew he would. As weird as it all is, he does seem to be a good, protective father.
“Hewasthere, Dad,” Rose says in my defense, glancing over at me with furrowed brows. “He tackled Atlas to the ground. Who then disappeared in thin air.”
I don’t blame Wolf for wondering how this happened. Of course I didn’tletany of that happen to Rose. I was on Atlas in seconds. It’s just that when Leif appeared, I was as surprised as she was to see him there. It caught me off-guard and I was slow to react to Atlas’ approach. I didn’t even smell that he was a witch; he must have some sort of glamor on him at all times.
Seeing Rose get stabbed with the blade put the fear of god in me. I can’t make any excuses for how I used that fear. The man who erased her for the second time was a different man than I am right now, shaped by different experiences (or rather, lack of experiences), and he was too weak to endure what he assumed would be another loss. He thought Rose was dead when she was stabbed and that felt like the end of the world to him, so he took the easy way out.
They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I think that’s a lie. It’s how you choose to deal with things that makes you stronger. I went through all the tragedy in the world and it made me stronger…until it didn’t. Until it made me weaker. Until I took the easy way out by erasing her the first time.
To say I feel shame is an understatement. I chose to forget her in the first place and I’ll be trying to come to terms with that for the rest of my life. In the end, I have to take responsibility for what I’ve done, no matter who I was at the time. The excuses don’t matter.
What does matter is that I have a chance to get it right again. I have a chance to be with my love for eternity, if the fates allow.
Naturally, I am a little wary about this whole Bellamy thing. I know she wants her revenge and I want her revenge for her. I’d say there’s nothing I want more than to torture the guy who killed Dahlia’s parents. But what I want more than that is for her to remain safe. The other day was too close of a call. The both of us had the book’s magic at our disposal at the time we saw Atlas and Leif, and yet we were totally blindsided. Even if the others join us to help, I have a bad feeling that things aren’t going to go the way we want them to.
And selfishly I don’t want anything to happen to Rose. I would rather take her back to Mittenwald or…no, not even there. We need a fresh start together. I would go wherever she wants to go in this world. Some place where we can just be together in a whole new life. Letting her try to find Bellamy again feels like we’re putting everything at risk, everything we worked so hard for.
I go take a shower and when I come out, Rose is making another coffee.
“So?” I say, leaning against the desk. “What was that all about? Is he coming here?”
“He’s already here,” she says.
“What?!”
“Yup. He was calling from the airport. He, my mom, Lenore, and Solon all flew from Portland. Dylan stayed behind. They’re just waiting for Abe to arrive and then they’re coming straight over here.”
I gesture to my phone on the bed. “He could have told you all that in person.”
She shrugs and lifts her coffee cup to her lips. “He wouldn’t have though. It’s hard to get Dad to open up about most things. He says he just wanted to be able to talk to me before all the chaos started.”
“And he’s okay with you taking part in this, getting Leif back?”
“I wouldn’t say he’sokay,” she says with a small smile. “But I think he knows he can’t stop me, and he knows that this is as equally important to me as it is to them. What did he say to you? Do you think he’s going to kill you?”
I laugh and I go over to her and kiss her forehead. “We’ll see. Considering I once stole his girlfriend, and now I’m stealing his daughter…”
She laughs. “It’s going to be an adjustment for a lot of you.”
“It’s okay. I always felt I missed out on thestay away from my daughterphase. Feels like being in a movie, and your dad plays the role very well.”
Her lips twist sourly. “I don’t know, I think you got a lot ofstay away from my daughterfrom Mina’s father.”
I try not to remember that moment. Time usually fades the sting, but the day I lost Mina is something that will never stop aching, like a sliver you can’t dislodge. Maybe because it was before I was a vampire. Maybe because it was my first time loving her. Having erased that moment for decades has only made it hurt even worse.
“I’m going to be honest with you, my dove,” I tell her, cupping the back of her head and staring down at her. “I would rather the two of us leave your parents to the battle. I would rather take you away, safe and sound, somewhere far off. I think if we bowed out, everyone would not only understand, but be relieved.”
She stiffens. “We can’t bow out. This is my fight, Val. It’s their fight too, but it’s also mine. I have to do this.”
“How?”
“How areyouof all people running from a fight?”
“Right? I usually cause the fights.”
“Val,” she warns, and I know from the jut of her chin that she is not going to back down.
