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It’s been a tough few days with my brother, that’s for sure. Abe has been working with him steadily with drugs and hypnosis and who else knows what, and that’s been helping a little. It’s at least been helping in that Leif isn’t fighting against us or running away or telling us to just fuck off totally. He’s only been telling us to fuck off a little. And I can’t blame him, considering all that he’s gone through.
Somehow though, we managed to convince him to come back to Oregon with us. My parents want to give him a place to stay while he figures shit out, and we also want him to meet his twin. We think meeting Dylan will really solidify the truth. Even though Leif seems to take it all in stride, I fear that he’s humoring us and doesn’t really believe what we’ve been telling him.
Even now I keep stealing glances at him and though his focus has been out the window this entire ride, there’s a tense set to his jaw that makes me uneasy. I just hope and pray everything goes as well as it can.
Finally we’re driving through Newport and pulling onto the street along the beach that will take us to our house, and it feels like I haven’t been here for years, even though it’s been a couple of weeks. The world I knew when I left this place is not the same as it is now. I’m with Valtu, Leif is back, and Bellamy is dead.
And I feel like I’m finally at one with all the different versions of myself, like all my different lives have finally converged into one. A sum of all my parts.
I am so much stronger for it.
We pull into the driveway and as Valtu gets out of the car he looks up at the house and says, “I was going to give you shit, Wolf, about living the suburban life, but I have to say this is fairly impressive.”
My dad grunts in response. “Yeah, well the missus wanted to live by the ocean. If it were up to me, I’d be in the middle of the woods.”
“We lived in the middle of the woods the last time,” my mom says with an exasperated sigh then gestures to the treed hills on the other side of the road. “And there’s a forest right there but I don’t ever see you stomping around in it, foraging for berries or whatever you want to do in it.”
I give Leif a smile. “You’ll have to get used to them. They reverted back into mom and dad mode pretty fast. It’s all downhill from here.”
Leif doesn’t smile but nods, his gaze drawn to the ocean where the grey surf pounds the shore. “It’s beautiful,” he comments.
“It’s moody and gloomy as fuck,” I tell him. “But I agree.”
We all walk to the house, my mom going to Leif’s side, while I wrap my arm around Valtu’s.
“Is it weird having me here?” Valtu asks me.
“Weird? A little,” I admit. “But I’m glad you’re here.”
“We don’t have to stay with your parents, do we? As much as I would love to piss off your father by screwing his daughter in her bed, I think I want as much privacy with you tonight as possible.”
My stomach flips at that, though I have to give him a dirty look for the rest of what he said. “No, we aren’t staying here. There are a ton of nice, very romantic hotels right up the street.”
“Thank god,” he breathes.
We go toward the kitchen and my dad yells, “Dylan we’re back. Get your ass over here and meet your brother.”
The house is a mess. I know my brother tried a little to keep it orderly but it’s a mess. The sink is piled with dishes, despite a perfectly good dishwasher, and there are clothes and vinyl records strewn everywhere.
I can see the vein forming in my mom’s forehead as she looks around with wide eyes, but she manages to keep it together as Dylan approaches, looking like he just got out of bed, all bleary-eyed with a stained t-shirt.
“Hey fam gang,” he says, giving us a lazy grin.
I rush right over to him and give him the biggest hug. “Dylan, we’d like you to meet your brother. Leif.”
I pull back and gesture to Leif who is standing there looking shell-shocked.
Dylan’s mouth drops open. “Oh my god,” he gasps, one hand pressing against his head. “It’s me. But a sexier version of me.”
“That’s the you if you didn’t smoke pot,” my father comments under his breath and my mom elbows him.
Leif seems so shocked that he’s not even moving, so Dylan walks over to him slowly, peering at him and blinking hard. “Dude,” Dylan says, stopping a foot away, looking him up and down. “You’re my twin. You’re my brother.”
And Leif finally nods. “I didn’t expect this,” he says, his voice hoarse.
“I didn’t expect you’d be able to grow such an impressive beard,” Dylan says, and everyone laughs, grateful for the break in the tension.
Finally, for the first time, there’s just the tiniest hint of a smile on Leif’s lips as he stares at his twin and I think, no, Iknow, that we’re all going to be okay.
